the satish

since i was bored and had nothing to do, i decided to create another entry for today. and since i probably won't be writing here tomorrow, because of the track and field cheerleading gay shit at the national stadium, which would mean that i would be home late at night, which would mean that i won't be online. so for all the bored souls out there, this entry is for you.
i have realised that satish is a very interesting person, and therefore, dedicate this entry to writing about him. the following would include two true stories and one fictional story.

part 1: the grand theft.

last year, in sec 3, satish went into class and stole three handphones from some classmates. that wasn't too bad. the bad part was that he got caught doing it. the story goes that one of my classmates called his house and spoke to his younger(2 year old) brother, who told the classmate that he recently brought many handphones home. when confronted, satish denied everything. however, as he was going home, one of the victims threatened to report him to the police. then he got scared and promised to return the phones.

a classmate later told me that satish's father had asked him about where he got the money to buy the phones from, to which he said he had saved up the money to get it. and his father then praised him for knowing how to save money. i think that any parent with a relatively well-functioning brain would know that it is quite difficult for someone to be able to buy a few phones with a $2-a-day pocket money.

the matter was then blown up, and parents were called down. satish then said that he stole the phones to get back at the classmates for making fun of him. the best part was his parents then bought him a pda worth a few hundred dollars to 'prevent' him from stealing again. talk about good parenting indeed.

part 2: the date

last saturday, my school organised a concert. desperate, satish duped an indonesian-austrailian girl(who is very ugly) to go with him. he told her that he was performing in the concert, and that he had extra tickets to the show, and asked her along. then during the show, he told her that he was a back up performer, and so wasn't performing. in fact, he wasn't even part of the shit(excuse the pun). the best has yet to come. during the hotel california performance, he shouted someone's ex-gf's name. some guy turned around and told satish to shut the fuck up. then many people began to laugh at him(satish). his female friend was so embarassed that she left soon after. i got this from a classmate, so the authencity is questionable.

then today, he told me that she left halfway because it was very late and her parents had to pick her up. yeah right.

part 3: the origins

made this up today. satish originated from a mutated piece of shit. legend has it that a worker, who was carrying radioactive waste to an undergound storage facility, felt the urge to take a shit. however, the builders of the facility had conveniently missed out the toilets. so, the worker had no choice but to drop his pants and take a shit right there. suddenly, his supervisor began calling for him. in his hurry, the poor man didn't even have time to clean his ass. during the mad scramble, he accidently toppled a canister of radioactive waste on the ground. he was worried and quickly left the scene. what he didn't know was, the radioactive waste had created a weird reaction in the shit, causing it to grow larger and resemble a human. so there, satish was born, teenage mutant ninja turtles style, in an underground radioactive waste storage facility.

DISCLAIMER: i am NOT a racist, i do NOT hate people of other races. i wrote this because i hate satish, and NOT the whole indian race. thank you for your kind understanding.