hey
mmm. i'm sure you know about the car-giving woman known as oprah winfrey. actually, i had no idea who the fuck she was until i read the papers weeks ago. anyway, if you don't, go take a broomstick and shove it up your ass. when you're done, come back and read the next paragraph.
winfrey said the audience members were chosen because their friends or family had written about their need for a new car. one woman's young son said she drove a car that "looks like she got into a gunfight"; another couple had almost 400,000 miles on their two vehicles.
making sure the audience was kept in suspense, winfrey opened the show by calling 11 people onto the stage. she gave each of them a car — a pontiac g6.
she then had gift boxes distributed to the rest of the audience and said one of the boxes contained keys to a 12th car. but when everyone opened the boxes, each had a set of keys.
"everybody gets a car! everybody gets a car! everybody gets a car!" winfrey yelled as she jumped up and down on the stage.
the audience screamed, cried and hugged each other — then followed winfrey out to the parking lot of her harpo studios to see their pontiacs, all decorated with giant red bows.
the cars, which retail for $28,000, were donated by pontiac.
hmmm, after reading the damn thing again, i realised that i have no idea what the fuck a pontiac is. perhaps it's the american equivalent of malaysia's proton, cheap and useless. anyway, she also did this:
winfrey surprised a 20-year-old girl who had spent years in foster care and homeless shelters with a four-year college scholarship, a makeover and $10,000 in clothes. and a family with eight foster children who were going to be kicked out of their house were given $130,000 to buy and repair the home.
wow. one rich bitch indeed. i sure wouldn't mind having a fucking $10k worth of clothes. could always give the ugly ones to the bangla workers. by the way, what the fuck does a person do with that much clothes? i think the girl must be using the $500 prada dress as a kitchen rag, since she still has another $9500 worth of clothes.
anyway, seeing that my situation is quite bad, and i definitely would love to have a car or some (a fucking lot) new clothes, i wrote in to her. hoping to impress her with my ingenunity, i wrote in a one-liner, "HOOK ME UP NIGGA." now i'm awaiting her reply.
winfrey said the audience members were chosen because their friends or family had written about their need for a new car. one woman's young son said she drove a car that "looks like she got into a gunfight"; another couple had almost 400,000 miles on their two vehicles.
making sure the audience was kept in suspense, winfrey opened the show by calling 11 people onto the stage. she gave each of them a car — a pontiac g6.
she then had gift boxes distributed to the rest of the audience and said one of the boxes contained keys to a 12th car. but when everyone opened the boxes, each had a set of keys.
"everybody gets a car! everybody gets a car! everybody gets a car!" winfrey yelled as she jumped up and down on the stage.
the audience screamed, cried and hugged each other — then followed winfrey out to the parking lot of her harpo studios to see their pontiacs, all decorated with giant red bows.
the cars, which retail for $28,000, were donated by pontiac.
hmmm, after reading the damn thing again, i realised that i have no idea what the fuck a pontiac is. perhaps it's the american equivalent of malaysia's proton, cheap and useless. anyway, she also did this:
winfrey surprised a 20-year-old girl who had spent years in foster care and homeless shelters with a four-year college scholarship, a makeover and $10,000 in clothes. and a family with eight foster children who were going to be kicked out of their house were given $130,000 to buy and repair the home.
wow. one rich bitch indeed. i sure wouldn't mind having a fucking $10k worth of clothes. could always give the ugly ones to the bangla workers. by the way, what the fuck does a person do with that much clothes? i think the girl must be using the $500 prada dress as a kitchen rag, since she still has another $9500 worth of clothes.
anyway, seeing that my situation is quite bad, and i definitely would love to have a car or some (a fucking lot) new clothes, i wrote in to her. hoping to impress her with my ingenunity, i wrote in a one-liner, "HOOK ME UP NIGGA." now i'm awaiting her reply.
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