hungry

as his boss likes to say, "what have you learnt today?" he says it in place of "how are you?" because it would always be replied with "i'm fine, thank you," regardless of how fucked the situation the person is in. if you still don't get it, the point is that it is a fucking retarded and useless question.

so, what have i learnt today?

i learnt that you should never ever fuck around with a hungry man because he will eat you for dinner.

don't believe me? try fucking around with me and i will personally eat you. why? because i'm a hungry man. been eating A LOT in recent months, a stark contrast to the 1-meal-a-day i practiced about a year ago.

i fear that i will become fat. then i will become a miracle, overcoming all odds to turn into a fat fuck from the underweight fucker that i am now. anyway, the thought of turning fat probably won't be bothering me anytime soon. or at least till the point when i look in the mirror and realise i've sprouted a pair of man-boobs.

but there's always liposuction. plastic surgeons need to earn a living also, you know? that's where (potentially) fat people like myself come in. we pay for their cars, houses, food, condoms, son's food, daughter's dildos, everything. of course, i do not see myself visiting one any time in the foreseeable future.

so remember today's lesson. DO NOT fuck around with me. i WILL eat you. or at least attempt to consume as much as my hungry stomach can contain, which would probably be quite a large portion of you.