gay people and such
"you're such a strange girl, the way you look like you do."
the perfect girl - the cure
that was my nick on msn last night. and assron decided to message me.
ass - who's e strange girl
me - chio bu
me - with no eye
so she's strange
me - LOL
me - LOLLICKERS [written]
ass - WTF [written]
me - LOLLICKERS [written]
ass - . . . [written]
me - normal girls dont want me
so i go for abnormal
me - if you havent realised
im just bullshtiittinting
ass - im ignoring u...
me - yays
me - did u believe me for even an instant?
ass - u tok alot shit jus now
ass - i jus ignored
me - yays
me - go read it again
me - then tell me
me - im talking shit again
i shall stop
stop.
ass - dont make me block u...
me - i stopped
just in time
i hope...
in case you were wondering, i DID stop in time. so i win.
i've been chewing my lips unnaturally much these days. when i say chew my lips, i don't mean gay-dude-trying-to-act-cute type chew. i mean chew-till-a-chunk-falls-off-and-is-inevitably-swallowed-with-food type chew. interestingly, it doesn't hurt. just a little bit gross.
the tour guide told us a story about the most corrupt official in chinese history.
after his death, they discovered that he was 3 times richer than the second richest man, king louis the something, and equal to more than 10 years of total national income of china at that time. he believed that anything the emperor has, he had to have as well. he built a house bigger than the imperial palace and had many wives, including a nigger, a few whites and persians.
he was obsessed with bats, because the chinese pronounciation, 'fu', sounds like 'luck'. his house has carvings of bats everywhere. he even has a pond shaped like a bat, in which he filled with spring water he stole from the emperor, a crime already worthy of a death sentence.
he too was extremely free, and spent time thinking of idioms and different ways to bring wealth to himself. he planted trees around his bat-shaped pond, so that during autumn, the leaves would turn yellow and fall into the pond, resembling gold falling into the pond, and thus bringing wealth.
he stole a rare copy of the word 'fu' from the emperor, and had people paste it on a slab of rock, then carve it out directly through the paper, thus transferring it to the rock and destroying it in the process. he then burried it in a cave, under some rocks shaped like dragons. since it was burried, there was no way he could view it, and he had no intention of doing so either. he only wanted it because it belonged to the emperor and he believed that it would bring luck.
the rocks were shaped like dragons for a reson, which could only be thought of because he had too much time to waste. the emperor would not be able to remove the slab, as it would mean having to smash the 'dragons', which is bad luck since the emperor is also known as a 'dragon'. by the way, i've seen the rocks and they do not resemble dragons in any way. they just look like 2 screwed up pillars, probably the 'dragon's' neck.
the emperor was aware of all his crimes, but did not punish him because they were gay. the story began when one of his father, the old emperor's wives died. one of the generals, who was also his father's good friends, decided to betroth his sister to the emperor.
his sister was only 13 then, and the emperor felt it was wrong, but could not refuse his friend. so he said he would accept her, but not have sex with her. the little girl then lived in the palace, where she met the then 14 year-old emperor's son. they then fell in love, but he knew that they could not be together since she was his father's wife.
one day, when they were about 20, he woke up early in the morning and rushed over to her house to bring her out to play. she agreed and began to change while he rushed home to change too. with speeds that would break any sprint records, he ran home, changed, and ran back in record timing. he then snuck up behind her and hugged her. thinking that it was one of her servants playing with her, she got pissed (like a fucking petty bitch) and jabbed his head with her hairpin.
she only realised it was him after she turned around and saw him bleeding from the head. he then went off to seek treatment for his busted head, and met his mom on the way. she was mighty pissed off and heard from one of the maids that the girl did it to him. after all, he was the prince, and who ever causes him harm must die. so she ordered the girl to hang herself, since females couldn't be beheaded back in the day.
after gettng his head bandaged, he returned to see his beloved hanging on a tree. he pulled her down and hugged her. with her last breath, she told him that she would be with him in her next life and died. being an intelligent cunt, the prince bit his finger and dripped a drop of blood on her head behind her ears, saying that it would be identification for him to recognise her.
20 years on, his father died, and the prince became the new emperor. he was sleeping when there was a banging on the door, he awoke and allowed the person in. the person brought a letter with 3 feathers, which was of the highest order, and had to be delivered to the emperor at all costs. it said that the unrest in mongolia had subsided. the emperor was happy, but was soon pissed (like a fucking petty bitch) with the guy who woke him from his rest.
so he told the guy to raise up so he could have a good look at him (for what reason, i have no idea. maybe he was vaugely gay). lo and behold. the GUY was a splitting image of the girl that died 20 years ago. he then looked behind his ear and saw a mark, bright as blood, which the guy told him was a birthmark. so the emperor thought, you promised me that you would be back, and although you are a guy, i will still love you. (told you he was gay...)
so, with the emperor's support, the guy/girl quickly rose within the ranks to become a high ranking official. and all his misdeeds were excused by the emperor. one day, the emperor died, and his son took over. everyone else hated the guy/girl except the emperor, so his whole family was ordered to be killed. he recieved a letter, saying that he and his son would not be beheaded. he was happy until he read the end, which said he had to hang himself, just like a girl would.
his son was spared because he was married to the new emperor's daughter or something. the emperor then met him for the last time, and asked him how he would prefer to die. "i want to die of comfort," he said. "fuck off," came the reply, and the emperor ordered him to hang himself.
« THE END »
wow, that was fucking long. goodbye.
the perfect girl - the cure
that was my nick on msn last night. and assron decided to message me.
ass - who's e strange girl
me - chio bu
me - with no eye
so she's strange
me - LOL
me - LOLLICKERS [written]
ass - WTF [written]
me - LOLLICKERS [written]
ass - . . . [written]
me - normal girls dont want me
so i go for abnormal
me - if you havent realised
im just bullshtiittinting
ass - im ignoring u...
me - yays
me - did u believe me for even an instant?
ass - u tok alot shit jus now
ass - i jus ignored
me - yays
me - go read it again
me - then tell me
me - im talking shit again
i shall stop
stop.
ass - dont make me block u...
me - i stopped
just in time
i hope...
in case you were wondering, i DID stop in time. so i win.
i've been chewing my lips unnaturally much these days. when i say chew my lips, i don't mean gay-dude-trying-to-act-cute type chew. i mean chew-till-a-chunk-falls-off-and-is-inevitably-swallowed-with-food type chew. interestingly, it doesn't hurt. just a little bit gross.
the tour guide told us a story about the most corrupt official in chinese history.
after his death, they discovered that he was 3 times richer than the second richest man, king louis the something, and equal to more than 10 years of total national income of china at that time. he believed that anything the emperor has, he had to have as well. he built a house bigger than the imperial palace and had many wives, including a nigger, a few whites and persians.
he was obsessed with bats, because the chinese pronounciation, 'fu', sounds like 'luck'. his house has carvings of bats everywhere. he even has a pond shaped like a bat, in which he filled with spring water he stole from the emperor, a crime already worthy of a death sentence.
he too was extremely free, and spent time thinking of idioms and different ways to bring wealth to himself. he planted trees around his bat-shaped pond, so that during autumn, the leaves would turn yellow and fall into the pond, resembling gold falling into the pond, and thus bringing wealth.
he stole a rare copy of the word 'fu' from the emperor, and had people paste it on a slab of rock, then carve it out directly through the paper, thus transferring it to the rock and destroying it in the process. he then burried it in a cave, under some rocks shaped like dragons. since it was burried, there was no way he could view it, and he had no intention of doing so either. he only wanted it because it belonged to the emperor and he believed that it would bring luck.
the rocks were shaped like dragons for a reson, which could only be thought of because he had too much time to waste. the emperor would not be able to remove the slab, as it would mean having to smash the 'dragons', which is bad luck since the emperor is also known as a 'dragon'. by the way, i've seen the rocks and they do not resemble dragons in any way. they just look like 2 screwed up pillars, probably the 'dragon's' neck.
the emperor was aware of all his crimes, but did not punish him because they were gay. the story began when one of his father, the old emperor's wives died. one of the generals, who was also his father's good friends, decided to betroth his sister to the emperor.
his sister was only 13 then, and the emperor felt it was wrong, but could not refuse his friend. so he said he would accept her, but not have sex with her. the little girl then lived in the palace, where she met the then 14 year-old emperor's son. they then fell in love, but he knew that they could not be together since she was his father's wife.
one day, when they were about 20, he woke up early in the morning and rushed over to her house to bring her out to play. she agreed and began to change while he rushed home to change too. with speeds that would break any sprint records, he ran home, changed, and ran back in record timing. he then snuck up behind her and hugged her. thinking that it was one of her servants playing with her, she got pissed (like a fucking petty bitch) and jabbed his head with her hairpin.
she only realised it was him after she turned around and saw him bleeding from the head. he then went off to seek treatment for his busted head, and met his mom on the way. she was mighty pissed off and heard from one of the maids that the girl did it to him. after all, he was the prince, and who ever causes him harm must die. so she ordered the girl to hang herself, since females couldn't be beheaded back in the day.
after gettng his head bandaged, he returned to see his beloved hanging on a tree. he pulled her down and hugged her. with her last breath, she told him that she would be with him in her next life and died. being an intelligent cunt, the prince bit his finger and dripped a drop of blood on her head behind her ears, saying that it would be identification for him to recognise her.
20 years on, his father died, and the prince became the new emperor. he was sleeping when there was a banging on the door, he awoke and allowed the person in. the person brought a letter with 3 feathers, which was of the highest order, and had to be delivered to the emperor at all costs. it said that the unrest in mongolia had subsided. the emperor was happy, but was soon pissed (like a fucking petty bitch) with the guy who woke him from his rest.
so he told the guy to raise up so he could have a good look at him (for what reason, i have no idea. maybe he was vaugely gay). lo and behold. the GUY was a splitting image of the girl that died 20 years ago. he then looked behind his ear and saw a mark, bright as blood, which the guy told him was a birthmark. so the emperor thought, you promised me that you would be back, and although you are a guy, i will still love you. (told you he was gay...)
so, with the emperor's support, the guy/girl quickly rose within the ranks to become a high ranking official. and all his misdeeds were excused by the emperor. one day, the emperor died, and his son took over. everyone else hated the guy/girl except the emperor, so his whole family was ordered to be killed. he recieved a letter, saying that he and his son would not be beheaded. he was happy until he read the end, which said he had to hang himself, just like a girl would.
his son was spared because he was married to the new emperor's daughter or something. the emperor then met him for the last time, and asked him how he would prefer to die. "i want to die of comfort," he said. "fuck off," came the reply, and the emperor ordered him to hang himself.
« THE END »
wow, that was fucking long. goodbye.
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