oh damn

"there's a man holding a megaphone, so he must have been the voice of god"
from a balance beam - bright eyes

fuck. i somehow got deluded yesterday into believing that my actual score was 17. but i scored 19. minus 2 from cca, which then makes it 17. i was (somewhat) happy for nothing.

now it's time to get stressed over what school to go to. and then there's the thought of what i'm gonna work as, since it's almost directly related. the fact is, i don't know. i want to get into a jc, but it seems rather impossible with my wonderful score of 17. then there's polytechnic. the thing about poly is that none of the courses interest me even the slightest bit. not even a lil'.

i'd rather spend my life doing things that i enjoy, instead of going to school from 4 years old, all the way into my 20s, and then work till i'm 65 when i'll be too damn old and cranky to do anything else. then i have to sit at home and count the days till i die.

but now, the main problem is jc or poly, jc or poly. and then what course to take, what course to take. fuck, i would gladly retake my o'levels, if only i could do it immediately, without having to wait till june, and then wait again till august for the results. and hopefully i won't end up with 19 points again.