shocking shocks shocked me

"EARTHQUAKE!!!" and everybody is worried of a tsunami. all thanks to the great waves of december 26. someone must really hate indonesia. 2 earthquakes in 3 months, both of which qualifies in the top 8 strongest earthquakes in the past century. before this, people were only afraid of getting squashed by their houses. now they all have something else to worry about. aparrently, my mother felt her chair shaking the day of the second earthquake. and she thought it was a ghost. i think i would have thought so too. but i was sleeping. and i didn't feel anything.


yesterday, i opened the door for a venture out into the open known as my living room. i was shocked by the sudden appearance of a little girl stepping out of the toilet. at first i thought it was a zombie, like the one in white from dawn of the dead. then i thought it was a ghost, since it seemed unaware of my presence. "what the fuck?" i thought. i watched as she entered my sister's room to join her sister. and i remembered. she was the little girl sitting on the sofa one night, the girl who nearly got hit by a ball i was about to throw, until i realised she wasn't my sister.

yeah, it's scary. the girl is human by the way. my house always seems to be overrun with some form of outsiders. like that little girl. or some of my maid's motor-mouthed friends. some day, a robber is going to enter my house and be mistaken for one of my maid's friends.


i once read that people love babies because they are unable to tell these people that the feeling is not mutual. and they imagine that the babies like them just as much. it's all one-sided love. like imgining the comatose woman loves you just because you like her, and she's unable to tell you to stop fondling her breasts.

i see babies as breathing and screaming dolls. they have no mental capabilities, except to cry when hungry. they can't tell you to fuck off when you poke their red little faces. or tell you that you have bad body odour when you pick them up. and because of this, people love them.


i once decided not to have children in the future. mebe it's because this world is too fucked up. or i was worried that my descendants would have to face the end of the world. i dunno. then i realised that since the time of the ameobas, a certain ameoba decided to split itself into 2. and after millions of years, a certain dinosaur decided not to eat another and mated with it instead. more millions of years later, a monkey gave birth to her child. then some caveman clubbed a sabre-toothed tiger to feed his pregnant wife. mister caveman's descendants decided to move out of africa to china. then through all the dynasties, the caveman's descendants lived, until it came to my grandparents and great-grandparents, who hopped onto a ship to sail for singapore.

and then, there was me. in some way, the amoeba, dinosaur, monkey and caveman are all related to me. and for some reason, each one of the millions of animals managed to get a fuck and gave birth before they died. i would not be around if the dinosaur decided to eat its mate. or if the caveman decided to club his wife instead. but i am. which is a miracle. so i think i want to have children. then maybe some day, my descendants would turn into dinosaurs again. or amoebas.

this post is pointless
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