i love africans

"you're such a sucker."
cute without the 'e' - taking back sunday

i got my very first african scam mail today. interesting as to how people manage to get tricked by their bullshit. actually it's not that interesting; dumb people still exist.

Hi Dearest One,
permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you , l got your name and contact through the help of a friend whoworks in internet here in Abidjan and l prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to its esteeming nature and the recommendation by the director for a reputable and trustworthy person l can do business with and by the recommendation l must not hesitate to confid in you for this simple and sincere business.

holy shit. that was one whole fucking sentence. no kidding. her teacher must have forgotten to teach her punctuation. notice that she uses 'l' [L] instead of 'i'.

I Am Miss Deborah Demo Francis, the only daughter of late mr and Mrs Demo Francis.My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan here, the economic capital of Ivory Coast, he was poissoned to death by his business associates on one of their outings on business.

heh. then it goes on to the money business and such, needing to transfer money so she can study here and secure a residential permit. she also wants me to serve as her guardian during her stay here.

my reply:

Hello my dearest Deborah,
I am pleased to recieve your mail and I would be glad to offer my assistance in any way possible. However, I am extremely regretful to notify you I am facing several reservations in extending help.

Firstly, your father was poisoned by his business associates, and I fear that a similar fate would befall me should I help you.

Secondly, I believe that it is in your best interest that I should inform you that the standard of the local Universities is rather poor, and it would probably cause more harm than good to your academic persuits should you decide to enrol with them.

Thirdly, from the research I have done, it appears that our government do not give out residential permits to people hailing from Abidjan due to the aparrent civil unrest there.

I had to think hard and long before I made the decision to reveal this final information to you, due to its portrayal of myself in quite a bad position.

I do not believe that I am in a suitable position to serve as your guardian due to my current deposition. As you may have heard from my friend over in Abidjan, I am currently 40-years-old, single, and a fair bit desperate. I fear that I would not be able to control myself when I am around you, and thus bring unnecessary harm to yourself.

Thus, you should seek solutions to the above problems before deciding on the best course of action. Again, I would be glad to offer any futher assistance. Money is never a problem to me.

Other than that, could you please notify my friend in Abidjan that I have lost his contacts and that I have been desperately searching for him during the past 2 years? It would be most beneficial to me if you would send me his telephone number and email address in your reply.

Love,
Davis

i'm so fucking polite that i even bothered to strain my poor little finger to type Proper Casings when necessary. and i have no idea why i signed off as davis. yes, i did send that to her.


zen micro is playing
populace in two - from first to last

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my template got fucked, and the site wouldn't show. so i had to re-edit it again and force myself to re-remember some non-existant html skillz. anyway, i have enough skillz to get this up and running again, so everything's fine now.


zen micro is playing
sweet avenue - jets to brazil