i'm bumd

"now i'm staring at the sun, waiting for it to explode. because the day is gonna come, don't know when but it will come. and then we will finally know the way out of here."
from a balance beam - bright eyes

seems like every 'first lesson' we have to do an introduction. and it doesn't seem to matter that we already know each other. and today we had to do yet another introduction. only this time it was oral communications class, so we had to talk a whole lot more. and i hate fucking introductions.

introductions are just so damn fake and plain weird. talking to so many people at the same time is worse. it's the kind of thing that anyone in the right state of mind would never do on a normal basis.

and because i hate doing introductions, i was sitting there silently, hoping to either go last or just get missed out because of lack of time. hopefully just get missed. lo and behold, the teacher was wiser than me. 6 minutes from time, i got called. fucking shit. 6 more minutes and i'll be free.

since i had a false sense of sercurity that i would NEVER be up there talking to everyone, i really didn't make any preperations at all. and then, it was my turn. wow. so i mumbled and scraped my way through, thinking that everything will be fine.

and after class darran told me that we're being graded for that. hm. nice.


got some radiohead songs a few weeks ago. it's interesting how they can make everything seem so bleak and hopeless in their songs, and yet still manage to have a tinge of hope. and it's even more interesting as to why i'm listening to them, since i stopped listening to from a balance beam by bright eyes because of this, except there doesn't seem to be any hope in the song. i'm just weird.


go listen to
radiohead - fake plastic trees