dreams

"i can remember, dreamt them so vividly, soft creatures draped in white, light kisses gracing me. i can remember, when i first realised, dreams were the only place to see them."
the great disappointment - afi

i think the song is about him believing in god but the only place where god has appeared was in his dreams, and so he got more and more disappointed and decided to give up on religion altogether.

which is why dreams suck. i hate dreaming. basically dreams can be classified into good, bad or neutral. and i hate all of them. why? because they always seem so real, until the point where i wake up and realised i've been cheated by my own brain yet again.

if it's a good dream, i get happy. and then i wake up and see that it's still the same shit. i've been happy for nothing. the money i won is not around. i can't fuck the hot girl again. my sister is still alive.

if it's bad dream, i get sad for nothing. even though i wake up and realise that the shit is fortunately unreal, i still suffer from the trauma of the bad things that happened in my dream. needless suffering brought by my over-active brain.

and if it's a neutral dream, then it's even a bigger waste of time. i hate neutral dreams because it's all pointless and stupid. i'd rather spend my sleeping time actually sleeping than dreaming of meaningless shit like going to a supermarket or anything like that.

in a nutshell, i hate dreams because they're not real and yet always seem so real. i hate to be cheated.


yesterday, i met my first sadistic motherfucker.

"hey lizard."
*kicks lizard*
"look, it's paralysed."
*walks toward lizard*
"huh? you're not paralysed?"
*kick*
"huh?!"
*kick*
*stomp*
(we walk away at this point)
"so did you kill it?"
"dunno. i think it was paralysed in pain."

i don't think i'm suitable to judge him. after all, i put salt on slugs.