i want to be

- a girl, so i can marry a rich man and live off him.
- gay, so i can grope girls like that gay reporter did to scarlett johansson.
- famous, so that chicks would wanna bang me.
- fat, so i can slim down and be known as a miracle.
- a policeman, so i can arrest dumb fucks for being a public nuisance, or just for fun.
- jason biggs, so i can see shannon elizabeth naked.
- a porn star, so i can make a living doing what i love.
- a dog, so i can hump whatever i like, whenever i want to.
- a director, so i can cast myself alongside hot stars and include lots of sex scenes.
- an alien, just to see what it feels like to be called 'that thing'.


now playing
early sunsets over monroeville - my chemical romance