um

i checked back into the same blogs 5 times in half an hour hoping that they would get updated by some miracle.

i stay up every night with nothing to do which causes my mind to wander towards the thoughts of death and old age.

those things scare me badly and i am unable to make any progess fighting my fears even after 5 years of struggle.

maybe i'm supposed to accept it and not fight it but it sure as hell ain't easy although i can't change anything anyway.

i think i'm the only person among everyone i know who is afraid of death and i wonder why no one else feels this way.

i am hesitant about asking others for their thoughts as it may give rise to their own fears of death and i do not want to be the cause of it.

please let me know if you feel the same or if i'm just being weird worrying about something i can't control.


now playing
this time imperfect - afi