i'm weird

when i was in secondary 4, my classmate called me one night. he asked me to join the freestyle relay team for the swimming carnival the next day.

of course i didn't want to join it, because i'm a lazy bum and i didn't want to show the world my 8 inch package while wearing a tiny little pair of swimming trunks.

so i told him
1. i have no swimming trunks.
2. i have no goggles.
3. i'm busy.
4. i'm a lousy swimmer.

for which he replied
1. i can lend you.
2. i can lend you.
3. please help me.
4. i can't find anyone else.

so basically i was his final hope. and he only approached me last. great way to boost my ego.

then i realised i can't swim freestyle.

which i promptly told him. he finally gave up and killed himself.

and then i realised i probably sounded like i was bullshitting him about my inability, since i was giving him all sorts of shit (BUT TRUE) excuses before that.

it's like i ran out of excuses and decided to drop the final bomb filled with bullshit.

but the fact is, i CAN'T swim freestyle. i can only breast stroke my way around. of course, i'm excellent at doggystyle.

so you see, i'm weird like that. i should have remembered i can't swim freestyle and told him that from the beginning and saved me from all the trouble.