i want to be buried in your backyard

"lately i've been wishing i had one desire, something that would make me never want another, something that would make it so that nothing matters, all will be clear then."
a perfect sonnet - bright eyes

lately i've been feeling that i would die soon. not that i'm suicidal or anything, just that i've got a feeling that i'm going to die.

i'm worried that i would go to sleep one night and not wake up the next morning.

so i've sort of prepared for my funeral. i've got my funeral playlist ready, and i'm thinking if i should write a will or a goodbye note.

and i've been inviting people to my funeral, making a guest list. of course, my funeral is going to be an exclusive event and only people on my guest list can enter.

so far, i've got 1 name. how tragic.

and then there are all the loose ends to tie up, something which is quite a bit troublesome and potentially embarrassing if i don't die after. but there are still certain questions that i definitely have to get answers for.

one thing i haven't decided is what type of funeral to have, and what to do with my body. probably just hold a wake without any religious stuff going on.

this shit is depressing.