peanuts and fuck?

somedays i get so bored that i force myself to feel sad, just so i have something to think about.

the reason i try to feel sad and not happy is because being sad is kinda like my 'default' emotion.

i am only happy when there's something to be happy about. other times, i'm sad.

and i'd rather feel sad than feel nothing, because having no feelings is worst thing ever.

how about you?