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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

3 steps to get the girl

a long long time ago i was on a random 175 bus ride to nowhere. mid-way through the journey a group of office workers came on board. there were 2 girls and 3 guys i think, and one of the guys was talking to the prettier girl.

he was more or less like any one of those shitty office workers you see around. 30s, super-gelled hair, ugly shoes, basically nothing very inspiring at all. probably a very boring person.

as for the girl (or woman), there's nothing much i can say or remember about her, just that she was quite young and prettier than the other woman. high chance that she was the prettiest girl in their office and sought after by all.

so as the story goes, the guy was trying quite hard to get close to the girl and it was painfully obvious that he was interested in her. when they first boarded the bus, the 2 women sat together, but the guy shamlessly asked the other (uglier) woman to allow him to sit beside the girl and she did.

he was smiling now since the first step of his evil plan had succeeded. he had her cornered. now it was time for step 2: try to talk to her. i say try because that's what he was doing. they weren't talking, HE was trying to talk to her and failing miserably.

she just sat there and looked out the window like a sad sad girl, occasionally giving replies without even turning to look at him. i would be sad too if i were forced to sit beside that guy and be bombarded with inane questions about work. yea WORK! who the fuck talks about work to girls? but he did, and that just shows how much of a boring person he is.

once in a while she would turn and look at him while replying and even SMILE at him. big mistake, as he seemed to take this as affirmation that he should continue.
if i remember correctly, her misery was finally ended when she reached her stop and got off with one of the other guys.

seriously i swear there was a smug grin on super-gelled-hair's face and he was definitely happy that he managed to talk to the prettiest girl in his office. after all, it was probably his greatest achievement of the whole month.

the man she left with was younger and definitely more attractive than the previous guy (at least he didn't have super-gelled hair). as they were alighting, i noticed that he stealthily placed his hand on the small of her back. it was so quick that none of the others noticed it, but she would have definitely felt it and she didn't flinch which means that he probably does it on a regular basis, WHICH MEANS THAT HE IS PROBABLY HER SECRET BOYFRIEND.

the guy was also rather sly, quietly sitting in the back during the journey and not even giving them the slightest clue about their [assumed] relationship.

well, as i swiftly came to the conclusion that they were a couple, i felt quite sad for that super-gelled-hair guy. imagine the look on his face when he finally finds out that his dream girl already has a boyfriend right under his nose. but at least that would wipe the smugness off his face for good.

anyway this was a rather pointless story, but there are some things that you can learn from it:

firstly, if you want to talk to a girl with the intention of 'furthering' your relations, please DO NOT be boring, which means that you can't talk about work no matter what. even if you are a boring person by nature, at least pretend to be interesting or you'll never get her.

secondly, please ensure that your dream girl does not already have a 'close guy friend,' because nothing good can ever come out of it unless the guy is a homo. this is especially important because it would be rather embarrassing to cry in front of everyone when you find out that she's getting married but not to you.

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