there goes the sun

i frequently think about how the past 1.5 years would have been like if i weren't so stupid back then. how would life be right now if i were a bit smarter and chose to make different decisions?

all i know is that it would definitely be miles away from what i have now. but for better or worse? for all i know, this alternate perfect life i've been dreaming about would have turned out to be a nightmare.

i need to learn to be thankful for what i have now, rather than what i don't. perhaps if i'd gone on that alternate path, we'd be a million times worse off than now. maybe dead, maybe handicapped, maybe i'd be a drug addict and you'd be a prostitute to support my habit.

so many possibilities.