talk to myself

my, she's pretty, isin't she? oh yes, she seems to get prettier each time i look at her. doesn't she remind you of the girls you used to look at? you mean the ones that appeared only attractive to me and no one else? pretty and a little bit weird, just the way i like it. yes it's been a long time since i last seen one, almost forgotten what it feels like.

ooh look at her. yea i wish i could. there's an idiot standing in my way. you can still see her. only her lips, her hair is covering everything else. the lipstick's a weird shade of orangey-red but it goes so well with her pale, pale skin, all the more striking in contrast to her black dress. it couldn't be more perfect.

there's something wrong with you, innit? if i didn't know you i'd think you were a psychopath! ah fuck you. there's nothing sick about it, just pure admiration of beauty. it's sort of like looking at a nice car or bike, or watching the sun set. our eyes are naturally drawn to pretty things, and she's pretty.

you say she's pretty just like you said about the other girls, so why is it that everyone else disagrees? there must be something wrong with you. fuck, it's not my fault that they don't agree and it's not my problem too. it's just that i prefer beauty that is... less obvious and more understated, the kind where i have to take a few more glances before i get it, but once i do, it just gets better.

i think i'm starting to understand. now you get me? conventional beauty is just boring to me. there's no depth, everything is revealed after one look or two and after that there's nothing left. beauty needs to have many layers. they don't have to be all good, but are perfect when put together. that's what gives them longevity. i can continue admiring, and each time i discover something new.

alright, i know what you mean. shit she's getting off and i haven't had the chance to take a good long look. oh don't worry, just remember her as the girl with pretty lips. yeah, make do with what i have. beautiful memories.