7 more months and more

i remember there was one afternoon back in tekong we were learning rifle fighting techniques. the instructor was teaching us how to smash a downed enemy's head with our rifle butts to avoid wasting bullets. at some point during that lesson, i realised that everything they teach us in the army is to help us kill people in the future, or whenever the time comes.

i thought it was quite sick that i was being trained for such things, that i can now kill someone effectively and efficiently if given the right equipment. now in the police force, they teach us how to apprehend suspects using minimal force and violence is only used in self-defence. we can't even beat up irritating suspects.

actually it's quite alright to be in the police, except that there's absolutely NO joy in training. the instructors like to put on a handsome face all the time and we can't even pretend that we're having fun or else we can start having fun while facing the ground. good thing is that we have quite a lot of free time and the lecturers are nice people, so it kind of evens out the pain.

[part removed for my well-being]

and one more sad thing is that we may not pass out in april as i thought. so far there's no confirmation but it could go up till may. how sad.