i amaze myself

last week was only a 4-day week, but it felt like the fucking longest and most painful week of my whole ns life. i think it was even worse than the 15 days of confinement i had when i first enlisted.

and it wasn't even as though we had a lot to do. it could be considered quite relaxing even by our standards, yet i already felt like dying on the 2nd day. i just couldn't wait to book out and it was the only thing on my mind all day long.

so because i was thinking about friday all the time, the seconds started to stretch into hours and the hours into days. i got so damn bored during drill lesson one day that the instructor asked if i was alright because my face didn't look well.

now i'm quite worried that every week from now on will be like the last, and then i'll most confidently say that i will be dead before long.