merry

in past years whenever they put up the christmas tree in my living room, i'll feel funny for a few days when i look at it because i'm not used to seeing it there. like there's something wrong with the living room, because i'm too used to the 'normal' view of it, and the sudden addition of the tree makes things seem out of place.

last week the tree was up again, and it took me a while to realise this, but i didn't feel anything. i just saw "oh, tree," and continued with my business. it's because i'm away from home so often that i don't even feel it when something's out of place.

i don't know if you really understand what i'm trying to say. maybe everyone feels something like this at one point or another, but it's my first time and i feel so out of place too.

anyway after 3 long nights of fun, it's time to go back to the shit that's awaiting. i think it's another 23 weeks left, but now it doesn't feel that long anymore. i can smell the end coming.