oh don't worry,

riding is not relaxing. it is fun, yes, but not relaxing. i NEVER relax on the road even if i want to. every single second i'm looking out for the next fucker who is gonna pose a threat to my life. it could be anyone, it could even be myself.

riding is a calculated risk. it's the value of time vs timeless, or so to speak. because i can either save some time (a lot, actually) riding my bike rather than taking public, but at the same time i could die and erm, wonder if that's worth it.

actually each time before i ride i wonder if that is the last time i'll be riding or alive. it could be my last, realistically. blah blah. some could say that you could die walking across a road. it's true, but normally you don't walk across a road at 90kmph.

it's a risk. i don't like to talk about this usually, but it's a fact. like when i was banged by that lorry, things could have easily turned out very badly for me. i didn't do anything wrong that day. i wasn't even doing anything!

that's just how vulnerable i am, and it doesn't help that i've come to see how meaningless motorcyclists are in the eyes of some drivers.

today could be my last. will you be there?