12.30pm on the bus

dear lady on the bus,

hello there. i'm the guy who was sitting in front of you on the 190. i was thinking if i should give up my seat, but i honestly couldn't tell if you were pregnant or just had a tummy. i figured it would be rather bad if i had given you my seat and you weren't pregnant.

so you see, i wasn't being unkind, i was just too thoughtful. i was thoughtful but you were just plain annoying. maybe you were mad that i didn't give you my seat, but still you didn't need to mash yourself against me that much. your knees were practically resting against my thighs!

there was a fat indian sitting beside me so i couldn't escape. i'm sorry so say but at times, i had a real strong urge to punch you, especially when you decided that a great place to rest your arm would be 5cm in front of my face. i thought of punching your tummy because it was the most obvious target (i decided that you weren't pregnant so i'm not trying to kill your unborn child).

i also thought of punching you in the nether regions because it was a more accessible target (and in case you really were pregnant). but i suppose punching a lady for coming too close to me would bring bad karma and also make other ladies afraid of coming close, so i refrained from doing so.

if you really were pregnant, i'm sorry but you were still extremely annoying. next time wear some padding on your tummy to make it more obvious that you're expecting. if you weren't pregnant, then FUCK YOU BITCH.

yeah, you escaped unscathed this time, but i don't think everyone will be as nice as me. if you keep doing this, one fine day your vag is gonna suffer the pain of a punch.

regards,
guy on the bus