damn bitch

sometimes when i'm in a dream, i become aware of it and try to control my dreams, also known as lucid dreaming. usually there are 2 outcomes.

1. i move about my dreams within my own control but following the flow of the dream, until i forget that i'm dreaming and the dreamworld takes over again.

2. i try to control the dreamworld and create my own stuff, but at this point my brain realises that something is wrong, like i'm not supposed to be there and i get kicked out. actually i think it's more like my brain gets overworked and wakes up, so i have to keep part of my brain 'asleep' to continue dreaming, while the 'awake' part explores.

last night midway through a dream i suddenly became VERY aware, and for the first time ever, i started doing some reality tests, including looking at my watch (it looked like a mottled mess) and observing my surroundings (they would change slightly every time i turned away).

so yay, i'm dreaming! what's next? then i remembered that i cannot overly-control my dreams or else i'd wake up, so i tried to just explore my dream world without altering things. anyway i tried doing some mind-control on people but it kinda failed badly, so i really don't know how much i could control things even if i wanted.

at first i was in some kind of old school building, which later evolved into a high-rise apartment block of sorts (like a huge multi-leveled cage), and i was climbing around outside, looking through the metal bars at the people sleeping. the rest of the surroundings were pitch black.

i've never managed to have controlled flight in my dreams before. i only manage to jump great distances, kinda like when you play cs and you lower the gravity. so there i was, jumping and climbing around the grilled walls of the building and there wasn't much to do because of the bars and the people were asleep anyway.

then at one unit, the woman inside suddenly woke up and quickly crawled over to the 'window.' hmmm, i thought, then suddenly she screamed and went through the metal bars and came after ME like the fucking witch in L4D! FUUUUUUUCK this ain't supposed to be happening in MY dream!

i quickly jumped away from the window but she jumped towards me too. while we were both suspended in mid-air, i thought of my options before she got to me. i could either try my damn best to imagine her out of my dream, or i could just wake the fuck up immediately.

i briefly considered the first option, before i remembered that i'm not really that good at controlling my dreams and more likely than not she's gonna get me. so i closed my eyes and jerked myself out of the dream. luckily it worked, or should i say luckily i didn't bring her out of my dream into my bedroom, or else i'd really be fucked.