the time i became a taxi driver
so one day last week i got so sick of the kids that i just decided to fuck it and sleep. i was awoken from my nap by a group of kids standing in front of me, saying "why is he sleeping here? why are you so tired?"
"ARGH last night i drive taxi, now very tired. GO AWAY DON'T DISTURB ME!" and i closed my eyes again. i could hear them discussing among themselves: "why he drive taxi at night then now still must work here?" "AH I KNOW! I KNOW! must be he very POOR! he need a lot of money!"
afterwards i tried to further drag these little fuckers into my world of lies and deception, offering to drive them home in my taxi after they were done there. they believed me but declined my kind offer. they asked me how old i was and when i told them to guess, there came replies of 21, 29 and 39. WTF?
i told my other colleagues about this stupid story and had a good laugh, and soon i was known as the Taxi Driver to my colleagues and that group of kids. my colleagues continued spreading my taxi driver story, in part because i was late almost every single morning. "last night he drive taxi that's why he's always late."
then earlier this week, a new group of colleagues joined us. half-jokingly, my colleagues told them about my other job as a taxi driver. before long, they were coming up to me asking if i was really a taxi driver... HOW COULD I SAY NO?
i guess partly because they'd feel bad not to believe me in case i was really a poor guy who had to work day and night, and also partly because i'm so good at this shit, or perhaps because there wasn't really any reason not to believe me, but they all did.
some smarter ones asked why did i ride to work everyday if i had a taxi, and i told them i had to pass the taxi to my day-shift partner and ride to work, and then ride over to collect the taxi from him at night. they also asked all sorts of other questions, like if it was scary to drive at night, how long have i been driving, and of course how old i was.
again, i told them to guess and this time it was 23-29.
***i don't really look that old. their estimations were skewed by the knowledge of my taxi-driving. other times people have asked me which poly i was in or if i was waiting for NS.***
on the final day of work, we were leaving the place and some of my new colleagues were hitching a ride on one of their cars. i went to the carpark to get my bike and LO AND BEHOLD, there was a taxi parked right beside his car... HOW COULD I RESIST?
together with my cousin and another colleague, we went up to 'my' taxi. "hey where you guys going?" i asked. "wanna take my taxi? but i charge you by meter!" i took out some keys from my pocket and pretended to open the door. "i'm dropping them off too," i said, referring to my cousin and the colleague with us.
some of them were still alert and asked why was i holding my helmet if my taxi was there. "my night-shift partner has something on later so he left the taxi here. i will get my bike tomorrow." and that convinced them once and for all.
"so who wanna take my taxi?" i asked again. "hurry up if not i'm going off already." finally one of them took the bait. "ok lah you drop me off at jurong?" she asked, as she grabbed her belongings and headed towards my taxi...
"HAHHAHAHAA FUCK YOU ALL, YOU REALLY THINK I'M A TAXI DRIVER?" and we all burst out in hysterical laughter for a good minute, even her friends, everyone except her. later as i was riding off, she stuck her head out of the car window and shouted "RYAN I HATE YOUUUUU!"
oh well, haters gonna hate.
"ARGH last night i drive taxi, now very tired. GO AWAY DON'T DISTURB ME!" and i closed my eyes again. i could hear them discussing among themselves: "why he drive taxi at night then now still must work here?" "AH I KNOW! I KNOW! must be he very POOR! he need a lot of money!"
afterwards i tried to further drag these little fuckers into my world of lies and deception, offering to drive them home in my taxi after they were done there. they believed me but declined my kind offer. they asked me how old i was and when i told them to guess, there came replies of 21, 29 and 39. WTF?
i told my other colleagues about this stupid story and had a good laugh, and soon i was known as the Taxi Driver to my colleagues and that group of kids. my colleagues continued spreading my taxi driver story, in part because i was late almost every single morning. "last night he drive taxi that's why he's always late."
then earlier this week, a new group of colleagues joined us. half-jokingly, my colleagues told them about my other job as a taxi driver. before long, they were coming up to me asking if i was really a taxi driver... HOW COULD I SAY NO?
i guess partly because they'd feel bad not to believe me in case i was really a poor guy who had to work day and night, and also partly because i'm so good at this shit, or perhaps because there wasn't really any reason not to believe me, but they all did.
some smarter ones asked why did i ride to work everyday if i had a taxi, and i told them i had to pass the taxi to my day-shift partner and ride to work, and then ride over to collect the taxi from him at night. they also asked all sorts of other questions, like if it was scary to drive at night, how long have i been driving, and of course how old i was.
again, i told them to guess and this time it was 23-29.
***i don't really look that old. their estimations were skewed by the knowledge of my taxi-driving. other times people have asked me which poly i was in or if i was waiting for NS.***
on the final day of work, we were leaving the place and some of my new colleagues were hitching a ride on one of their cars. i went to the carpark to get my bike and LO AND BEHOLD, there was a taxi parked right beside his car... HOW COULD I RESIST?
together with my cousin and another colleague, we went up to 'my' taxi. "hey where you guys going?" i asked. "wanna take my taxi? but i charge you by meter!" i took out some keys from my pocket and pretended to open the door. "i'm dropping them off too," i said, referring to my cousin and the colleague with us.
some of them were still alert and asked why was i holding my helmet if my taxi was there. "my night-shift partner has something on later so he left the taxi here. i will get my bike tomorrow." and that convinced them once and for all.
"so who wanna take my taxi?" i asked again. "hurry up if not i'm going off already." finally one of them took the bait. "ok lah you drop me off at jurong?" she asked, as she grabbed her belongings and headed towards my taxi...
"HAHHAHAHAA FUCK YOU ALL, YOU REALLY THINK I'M A TAXI DRIVER?" and we all burst out in hysterical laughter for a good minute, even her friends, everyone except her. later as i was riding off, she stuck her head out of the car window and shouted "RYAN I HATE YOUUUUU!"
oh well, haters gonna hate.
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