another day late and one year older

"but eventually over time we all become our own doppelgangers. you know, these completely different people who just happen to look like us."
- ted mosby

i was listening to some old decemberists songs and it brought me back to the period where they hold the strongest memories. that was way back in 2006-2007. was i really like that? i asked myself.

i then brought forward the timeline to something more recent, 2008-2009, and i was similarly shocked by what i remember myself to be, or what i have since turned into.

in fact, i think about this all the time, but different days bring different perspectives.

sometimes i find it not such a big deal, but other times i get quite disturbed that i've changed so much. things that i once believed in, i no longer see the importance in. ideals that i used to seek, i now deem impossible to achieve.

today i don't feel comfortable. i'm wondering if these changes were for better or worse? could i somehow extract the best parts of each period and bring them all into the present?

is it just that i now 'know better' than that previous naive version of me? or am i just inevitably getting older and colder?

maybe i'm just getting tired. after all it's already 5 in the morning.