happy new year
one of the main reasons my mother doesn't particularly like my father's side of the family (all sisters) is that they're generally a rather naggy bunch, and great busybodies as well. this was really quite bad in the past, when they were younger and had more energy to nag and involve themselves in extra activities.
i realised over the past week that my mother still hasn't learnt how to manage them, even after 30 years. this year we were hosting the celebrations so everyone came over and my mother and maid did the cooking. my eldest aunt arrived the earliest and somehow found her way into the kitchen, where she started to help out with everything and quickly became the 'kitchen supervisor.'
she was nagging the shit outta them in the kitchen and it was really annoying even for me to listen to her, so i can't really imagine how my mother and maid felt. (ok i can imagine it because she would nag the shit outta me back when i was younger and when she had more energy and thus was way worse than now)
my mother was just there going along with whatever she was saying, so i couldn't figure out if my aunt was really being useful in the kitchen or what. it was only later when my mother started talking about it with my maid that i understood that they were both dying there.
at that point i was also getting annoyed so i did what my mother should have done right from the beginning: chase her out of the kitchen. it was surprisingly easy, i just told her to go sit down and we'll deal with the cooking, and she did, after some final 'instructions.'
this made me think that a lot my mother's problems with the in-laws could have been solved by some simple people management. it's not like she's some docile creature, but she just finds it impossible to assert herself with them and this lead to so many days of frustration and annoyance.
i realised over the past week that my mother still hasn't learnt how to manage them, even after 30 years. this year we were hosting the celebrations so everyone came over and my mother and maid did the cooking. my eldest aunt arrived the earliest and somehow found her way into the kitchen, where she started to help out with everything and quickly became the 'kitchen supervisor.'
she was nagging the shit outta them in the kitchen and it was really annoying even for me to listen to her, so i can't really imagine how my mother and maid felt. (ok i can imagine it because she would nag the shit outta me back when i was younger and when she had more energy and thus was way worse than now)
my mother was just there going along with whatever she was saying, so i couldn't figure out if my aunt was really being useful in the kitchen or what. it was only later when my mother started talking about it with my maid that i understood that they were both dying there.
at that point i was also getting annoyed so i did what my mother should have done right from the beginning: chase her out of the kitchen. it was surprisingly easy, i just told her to go sit down and we'll deal with the cooking, and she did, after some final 'instructions.'
this made me think that a lot my mother's problems with the in-laws could have been solved by some simple people management. it's not like she's some docile creature, but she just finds it impossible to assert herself with them and this lead to so many days of frustration and annoyance.
2 Comments:
you saying it is different from yr mum saying. because they are the same generation so they might have some unsaid hierarchy that the smaller one talking would be rude. as for you saying it, it would seem that they are passing the control to your generation and that since you are growing up, it's appropriate and actually encouraged for you to assert yourself.
By
dqb, at January 30, 2012 10:54 pm
well as i've said, it's people-management. maybe she couldn't have done it the same way but she had 30 years to figure it out.
By
cr, at January 30, 2012 11:07 pm
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