zzz

well, it has come down to this again. sleepless on the night before my exam.

this study break i've been waking and sleeping at all sorts of odd hours, until i finally reached an equilibrium around 2 weeks ago. i'll wake up at 1pm, bum around the entire day, start studying at 12am, and finally go to bed at 6 in the morning.

not the most conventional, but at last i found something that worked. (yes i only found it 2 weeks before my papers)

i had actually anticipated this, knowing that my paper tomorrow was starting at 10. this past week i've been trying to adjust my sleeping time to match this, or at least not fall asleep at 6.

i first tried sleeping a little earlier at 4am, and waking up at 11. i ended up finally falling asleep at 5 and waking at 1. ok, i shall wake up earlier the next day so that i'll be tired at night and sleep earlier.

very optimistically, i set my alarm for 9am. i woke up and felt like i would die any instant and fell right back into bed. fuck me, i had only 1 day left.

today i tried a more reasonable 11am, but once again i felt like i was gonna die right there. fortunately at around 9pm i was feeling sleepy. my new plan was to sleep and then wake up at 4am and do some last minute revision till morning.

so i went to bed and i was dreaming about some insane and trippy stuff and then i suddenly woke up and i was wide awake. the dream was so incredible yet intangible that i wanted to record it down. at first i could recall everything but as the seconds ticked by, it all just turned into mush.

i tried to lull myself back to sleep but only succeeded in putting myself in a sort of half-dream state where my thoughts were flowing all around yet i knew i was still awake.

after what seemed like eternity, i checked the time and it was only 1:30am. i lay there for another hour before deciding to fuck it and just do something instead, so here i am.

i wonder what time i'll sleep tomorrow...