whaddafuq

i have an aunt who is always trying to tell my cousin and i 'what's best for us' in our studies or career, depending on whatever she's most recently been influenced by. strange thing is she doesn't ever bother with my younger siblings or cousins, only targeting the 2 of us (same age).

it first really started when we were in sec 1 or 2, it was the december holidays and i was staying over at my cousin's place. one day she bad this brilliant idea that we should have TUITION CLASSES, and managed to convince our parents that we needed to go. she then arranged for us to attend a school.

whaddafuq. she told us to meet her at the mrt station and she'll bring us there. of course we had to do something about it, so our young scheming 13/14 year old minds came up with the perfect solution: we would simply not meet her!

remember, this was 10 years ago when only a few people had handphones, and my cousin happened to be the only one who had one, not even my aunt. so he switched it off and we still went to the mrt station just in case, but not with any intention of meeting her.

after loitering around the area for a while, we left and went to play lan, only returning home at night. then boom, we got fucked by everyone at home. they said my aunt waited at the mrt station for over an hour (LOL) and we were so irresponsible blah blah, but we stuck to the story that his phone died and we couldn't find her, and it blew over after that night.

and i think she got the message because she never ever asked us to go for any fucking tuition again.

of course it didn't just end there though, over the years she's been trying to get us to attend all sorts of courses, like for example she'll read in the papers that the finance sector is experiencing growth, and suddenly being in the finance industry would be the best shit ever and we should all sign up for some finance course.

and then a few weeks later she'll say that we should attend some other course, etc. some of the conversations with her can get a little weird too, i just try my best to get out without compromising my position. i always try to avoid situations when she can trap me 1-on-1 and spew her nonsense.

for example, last year after my exams:
aunt: so your exams are over now?
me: yeah, having holiday now.
aunt: oh, is it a holiday or is it a short break for you to attend some extra courses?
me: no it's a holiday.

and just recently:
aunt: when are your exams?
me: over already, i'll be graduating.
aunt: have you been looking for a job?
me: not yet, i'm waiting for results to be out first.
aunt: you are taking banking and finance now right?
me: yeah.
aunt: i think you should get a job first, then take a part-time accountancy course, and then you can become an accountant.
me: [whaddafuq if i wanted to be a fucking accountant i wouldn't be studying banking and fianance] er... no i don't like accountancy.
aunt: why? i think accountancy suits you. after that you can take auditing course too, and be an auditor.
me: [WHADDAFUQ?!?!] er... i don't like auditing too.
aunt: but i think it really suits you! and it's a stable job too. it won't suit your cousin because i think you're more careful and you can do auditing better.
me: ...