shit my teachers say

"does anyone know how the sperm gets to the egg? DON'T TRY TO BE FUNNY I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU IT'S NOT MY JOB."
- primary 6 female science teacher to class, i genuinely had no clue how the sperm gets to the egg and hence no idea why she got mad

"there's a fourth state of matter, plasma, like blood plasma."
- secondary school teacher, it was a few years later that i found out what plasma really was

"english is so confusing. why is it I for idiot, not E for e-diot? I should be i-diot."
- secondary school chinese teacher, out of the blue

"jet lee, jackie chan and bruce lee are all descendants of wang fei hong."
- same chinese teacher, this statement convinced me he was nuts

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'YOU ADVISE ME?' YOU THINK I'M YOUR FATHER IS IT?"
- sec 3 form teacher to classmate, yet another characteristic random moment of madness