18 months
what did one and a half years of 'doing nothing' do to me? it changed me in ways that i never imagined.
1. it cleared up my mind a lot, all the crazy thoughts that used to plaque my head are gone.
for example, being confused by time. i don't know what happened but it just doesn't bother me anymore.
maybe in normal life there is too much external stimulus and it takes away your ability to deal with your own shit. having the luxury of time allowed these shit to work their way out of my system.
2. it changed my mindset regarding work, and i can now say that i am really ready to start.
seeing all (literally all) my friends fuck off to work has slowly made me feel that maybe it's not so bad.
ok who am i kidding? IT IS SOFA KING BAD, but silly as it may sound, i have reconciled the fact that i would not be able to find the one perfect job, just has to be good enough that i do not dread waking up for work every morning.
3. it made me realise that a year is both shorter and longer than i thought.
not having any schedule made the clock and calendar almost redundant in my life, and it was so easy to put things off. why do it now when i can do it later, tomorrow, or next month? a day meant nothing to me, a week passed so quickly, and then OMG IT'S CHRISTMAS ALREADY?
but a few days ago i was looking for movies to watch, and i came across gangster squad, released in january 2013. wait, what? i felt like i watched that ages ago. i realised that this year was much longer than i thought it was, and way more things happened than i gave it credit for.
4. it allowed me to see that it is not easy to go against the flow.
it became apparent that some people were not taking me seriously, just because i did not conform to the norm of society. this part really surprised me, as even some friends viewed me differently when i thought that they ought to know me and what i am capable of.
all of a sudden i was now a good-for-nothing useless bum, and this impression projected itself onto my words and actions. it was quite a disappointing experience.
1. it cleared up my mind a lot, all the crazy thoughts that used to plaque my head are gone.
for example, being confused by time. i don't know what happened but it just doesn't bother me anymore.
maybe in normal life there is too much external stimulus and it takes away your ability to deal with your own shit. having the luxury of time allowed these shit to work their way out of my system.
2. it changed my mindset regarding work, and i can now say that i am really ready to start.
seeing all (literally all) my friends fuck off to work has slowly made me feel that maybe it's not so bad.
ok who am i kidding? IT IS SOFA KING BAD, but silly as it may sound, i have reconciled the fact that i would not be able to find the one perfect job, just has to be good enough that i do not dread waking up for work every morning.
3. it made me realise that a year is both shorter and longer than i thought.
not having any schedule made the clock and calendar almost redundant in my life, and it was so easy to put things off. why do it now when i can do it later, tomorrow, or next month? a day meant nothing to me, a week passed so quickly, and then OMG IT'S CHRISTMAS ALREADY?
but a few days ago i was looking for movies to watch, and i came across gangster squad, released in january 2013. wait, what? i felt like i watched that ages ago. i realised that this year was much longer than i thought it was, and way more things happened than i gave it credit for.
4. it allowed me to see that it is not easy to go against the flow.
it became apparent that some people were not taking me seriously, just because i did not conform to the norm of society. this part really surprised me, as even some friends viewed me differently when i thought that they ought to know me and what i am capable of.
all of a sudden i was now a good-for-nothing useless bum, and this impression projected itself onto my words and actions. it was quite a disappointing experience.
1 Comments:
dont say that
i dont think they see you as a good for nothing bum
maybe just anxious or concerned for you :)
edna
By
Anonymous, at December 06, 2013 10:40 am
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