early worm something

last night my mother had the radio on and it was playing some old chinese songs the whole time. this reminded me of all the dreadful mornings throughout primary to secondary school where i had to wake up early and stumble around half-dead to school.

every morning my parents would have the radio on and these old chinese songs would be playing, seemingly amplifying all the terrible feelings i had from the moment i opened my eyes. my head throbbing, my eyes felt like they were rolling back in my head, and these songs, damn, they aren't bad, but they have been associated with these bad memories.

it has always been a challenge to get me up in the mornings. even back then when we used to sleep at 10 every night, the mornings would still feel like hell and my parents had a daily battle just to get my brother and i out of bed.

but yea, mornings, they are hell to me. it's not so bad (but still bad) waking up after the sun rises, but to wake up when it's still dark outside, fuck me.

these days i don't suffer so much, but some mornings i'm in the shower with my eyes half-closed and i can hear the school behind my block playing the national anthem for morning assembly and i can't help but feel bad for these poor students.

here i am, feeling like shit waking up at this time, and they are already in school?!

the songs brought me back and i can still feel the pain 10 years on.