lightness

after writing the previous post i realised why i don't write as often these days.

it's due to the exact opposite of the reason i used to write a lot. "thoughts and feelings are transient and fleeting but become real once written down."

i once felt a great importance and need to make things real, and probably suffered a fair bit from this. things would be set as they were at that one moment i wrote them down, when in reality they could be forgotten or evolve through the passage of time

i suppose this could also be added to the Great List of Things That Changed From 18 Months of Doing Nothing. i had so much time to drown myself in my thoughts (and there was a shitload of them), i went over the same things again and again until i didn't know where was the beginning and the end.

and if there is no beginning and no end, at which point should i choose to put it in writing? i cannot, because tomorrow it would not be the same.

now i am more accepting of their transient nature and in fact i sometimes embrace it, and as a result i feel much lighter and less prone to harping upon the past.