will you?

it's in the early hours of 2 november now and i've just skipped this place for the second october in a row, but i actually saved something on my phone so let's back-date it a little...

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these days it has suddenly become very fashionable for people to post their good deeds online. me, i don't do such good deeds. i will never go out of my way to 'help' someone unless it was an emergency.

sometimes i get tempted to help. maybe that handicapped man is really too pitiful. but i am always stumped by this question i ask myself: am i doing this for him or for me? am i doing this just to make myself feel good, that hey, i am so kind hearted and so charitable?

i am stumped because i know that if i really wanted to help someone, it shouldn't be just for that one moment.

if i sincerely wanted to help out a poor family, i can easily give them half of my monthly pay and it would make a world of difference in their lives. if i sincerely wanted to help out a handicapped person, i can easily arrange to clean his house weekly, send him daily meals, even pay an amount of his medical bills.

am i willing to do that for them? if not, then who am i kidding?

will anyone do that? i know the answer is definitely yes, but we don't see such situations being posted online. what we see is people who just wanna give a token sum, minus any of the hassle or sacrifice required to truly help, and then stroke their egos and frolic in the praise lavished upon them.