african in process

maybe you'd be interested to know that i've bought a pair of running shoes last thursday. i was supposed to buy with my friend and go running everyday at 5am but not everything goes according to plan.

firstly, my friend is a BITCH and did not buy the shoes, but still promised to go running.

secondly, poly students like myself lead very busy and stressful lives and thus are unable to find free time to go running, even if it's at 5 in the morning. yes, we're busy at 5.

so it's been almost a week now and i haven't even removed the shoes from its hiding place in the shoe box. maybe tomorrow.

i want one too

cool people like to wear colourful jeans, but only the uber-cool wear tight and colourful jeans. like blue red green yellow purple pink. the colours are so beautiful that they blind me and make me want to kill their uber-cool owners because i get so jealous of them. i wish i could own a pair of tight and colourful jeans too so that i can be uber-cool like them. =(

watch me assplode

i've been shitting watery shit since this morning and it's starting to get fun. the noise my shit makes when it hits the water sounds more like a girl peeing than a guy shitting. it's as though i've grown a new vagina and have been peeing through it, except that shit comes out.

sometimes i fart midway through my shit, and the gas release causes my shit to splatter like a shotgun, all over the insides of the bowl. what a nice visual!

i think i should shoot my shit on a piece of paper and frame it up and call it art. i could sell it and get rich. after all, no one else has art that looks good and smells good too. i should even record the sound of my shit as i create the masterpiece and sell the tape too, so they can listen to it while appreciating my artwork.

my art will appeal to all your senses. taste and touch are not recommended but possible. to think of it, this seems to be an excellent birthday present for someone with a birthday on 31st october, don't you agree?

blogs and bellybuttons

i realised that many people read this blog but very very few actually understand what is in it.

and i also realised that my belly button is getting deeper because the fats surrounding it is getting thicker. the hole itself has no fats under it so it remains at the same height.

maybe i'll post a picture when i'm free.

dead animal

i was eating some chicken for lunch just now when suddenly i got extremely disgusted by it. like "WHY THE FUCK AM I EATING A DEAD ANIMAL?" i tried to get over my disgust by eating another bite but it only made things worse.

i packed up the meal and dumped everything into the thrash but i still felt very disgusted and tried to puke out the food but failed.

i still feel very nauseated right now, even after a few hours. i keep thinking of the dead chicken and how i put it in my mouth and chewed it and swallowed it. YUCK!

seriously it's fucking disgusting and i think i'm gonna turn into a vegetarian.

african kid

i am determined to go out and buy a pair of running shoes and then wake up at 5 every morning to run, just in case i continue my current state of hibernation and end up looking like a ball in 5 years. we shall see how determined i can be. this would be a test of my mental strength.

and also i am rather sad that the earliest date for my driving basic theory test is 5th november. i thought i could take it tomorrow. shit. shit.

of all things shitty

and once again, the holiday is ending. the only special thing is that this next semester would be my last one as a student in poly and then i have to waste 2 years of my life being a prisoner. i have no idea what lies in store after that and it's quite scary.

this would be my last chance to live in blissful ignorance, just going to school and back home and school and back everyday. and then before i know it, OH SHIT! i'm an adult. i'm so fucked.

anyway this holiday has been rather fruitful to say the least. or maybe alcoholful would be a better description. i have gained a high immunity level to alcohol and it does get quite boring, having to drink like 20,000 drinks before i feel anything.

maybe it's time to take a break, which is not such a bad idea considering i can see my fledging beer belly starting to protrude. and it doesn't help that i haven't been exercising for more than 3 months.

eek

i haven't been around these days because i have been too busy. yes, i am a busy man, trying to make full use of the holidays before they end. milk them for all their worth. i think i won't be home for the next 2 nights as well.

anyway my father solved the little confusion by packing up the wii and bringing it back to china with him. i hope he buys more games because the ones he has are quite stupid, to say the least.

and erm my friends came to my house today for lunch. they wanted to taste my maid's lengendary cooking skillz but i think they were disappointed because she was prepared for their arrival and didn't cook shit for them. today was not a true test of her normal skillz but they were offered a glimpse of it.

i guess her reputation preceeds her abilities, judging by the way my friends tasted the food like it was some sort of fear factor challenge, only to realise that 'it's not that bad.' oh dear friends, it's bad, just not today.

kiss me kiss me kiss me

"lie close to me, my breathing won't last long
my hands of bone will feel your touch, tonight we sit and remember"
beyond the hourglass - i am ghost

my father bought a nintendo wii because he's too rich and has nothing better to do. he says that it offers 'good exercise' because the controllers are cool and can detect movements. i think i should sell it once he returns to china. at least it can still fetch a good price now before it becomes a worthless piece of junk. after all no one's gonna play it.

the strange thing is that he has been keeping the xbox cables locked up in his drawer since years ago, because he wants us to study and not 'play play play' all day. i pick open the lock when he's in china and put the cables back when he returns. anyway the point is he doesn't allow us to play the xbox and yet he buys a wii for no apparent reason.

i wonder if he's gonna lock up the cables too? that would definitely be very strange of him.

noobs

it always irritates me when noobs take over something that is cool and turn it into utter crap. then i have to distance myself from these ex-cool things in order to avoid being associated with noobs. it is also partly because the ex-cool things start to disgust me so much that i can't help but keep away.

but that's still alright. the worst part is when i have cool things and all of a sudden, noobs want a piece of it too and take over, turning my cool things into completely noob shits. it makes me so very depressed.

one example would be the old school vans shoes, which are currently in the process of being noobified, just like they have done to the slip-ons.

dreams were the only place to see them

"what i'd never show, what you'll never find, is explosive so hide your eyes"
the love letter - blaqk audio

sometimes i think i'm too idealistic for my own good. i like to dream and plan out the way things are supposed to occur, how it would be perfect if it happens the way i imagine it to be.

and then the events occur in real life, and it seems to be too far off from my plans, too far from perfect, and i instinctively reject them all.

"NO NO NO!" i think, "this shit ain't supposed to happen like that!"

so i reject everything, stop them from progressing. press CRTL + Z and hope that when it happens again next, it's going to be as glorious as i had seen in my mind.

i should learn to be more realistic, but that's just not as fun, isin't it?

in no particular order

the things i did in vietnam (that i can remember)
1. drink quite a lot of 7-up (AHAHA)
2. shoot real bullets from an AK
3. get 5 girlfriends from a $5 investment
4. step on chips until my whole floor was filled with crumbs and oil, because i drank too much 7-up and thought it would be fun
5. clean up the crushed chips from the floor
6. puke the morning after drinking too much 7-up
7. scream when female vietnamese store-holders tried to grab me to see their goods
8. crawl in the tiny cu chi tunnels and scream "BOMB BOMB!" and frog-hop all the way through
9. find out that the temple of richie-richie is actually the temple of literature because of the vietnam guide's pronounciation
10. shout TIO SCAM LIAO whenever any of us overpaid/the aircon is not working/just for the fun of it