bah

i couldn't resist.

see this.
and this.
and this.
from www.lickmyjesus.com.

25 days more.

bleaurgh

fuck. i really got to start my damn non-existant revision. so i probably won't be blogging much for some time, at least till the damn exams are over. so far, it's ONLY 26 days more.

in the meantime, busy yourselves with steve the sex addict. i finished reading every single entry in 2 days. when you're done with that, go read this and this. THEN, you could busy yourselves with ms. beautifuk or his blog. if you're getting desperate, visit fat fuck or read his old stuff or even pay damien a visit. but i would encourage you to kill yourself by reading my WHOLE blog first before moving on to other stuff.

nice websites to visit include wtfpeople, kontraband and b0g.

when you're really done with all of the above, go search for some random depressed/suicidal/anything except normal teen's blog and tell the person to shut the fuck up. do this for me, please. or alternatively, you could encourage the idiot to stop bitching about how his life sucks and to just kill himself.

as daniel says, stop whining fuckheads.

oh yes, go to http://www.highiqsociety.org/noflash/nonmembers/iqtests.htm and take the ultimate iq test. i got an iq of 132, which supposedly qualifies me to become a member of the international high iq society.

ads n' more

there's been a lot of shit advertisments coming from the newspapers and the tv. shit advertisments like slimming programs, breast enhancement (ENLARGEMENT) programs, some retrenchment thing, and the search for the missing china girl. ok, the last one isin't an advertisment, but whatever.


slimming programs

needless to say, this is for 2 types of people only - the fat, and the really fat. and then the smart asses got 'real' people who lost weight through their programs to go on tv to tell the world (singaporeans) how good the program is, accompanied with before and after pictures.

but the point is, if you want to lose weight, exercise. if you're too lazy to exercise, maybe you can consider visiting a slimming centre. but for fuck's sake, you don't have to tell the world that you're a lazy blob of fat who is too damn lazy to exercise.

and then, there's the testimonials. "i was so fat, my boyfriend used to call me a bodyguard." ok, something is really wrong here. first of all, which self-respecting girl would allow her 'boyfriend' to call her that? if i were her, i would have delivered him a swift kick in the pants and leave him to die. next, being called a bodyguard isin't exactly something to be proud of, and it just shows how fucking stupid she is to happily tell everyone about it.


breast enhancement (ENLARGEMENT)

go open the straits times' life! section and you would definitely encounter it at least once a day, again with pictures of 'real' people (women) who have gone through their programs successfully. so what's the point of having big boobs? your face still looks fucking ugly. yes, that's right. stop staring at their breasts for a moment and look at their faces. YUCK!

ah, the world is always that fucked up. women with enormous breasts wish for smaller breasts. women with not-so-big breasts wish for bigger breasts. woman with breasts the size of a 10-year-old boy's wish for some kind of breasts. men with man-boobs wish to have no breasts. it's because of people like these that plastic surgeons are able to earn a living.

the women who appear on the advertisments seem to be proud of themselves because their 'program' does not include surgery. but what's the fucking difference? the woman who had silicone implants wanted 'nicer' (BIGGER) breasts, the woman who went for the breast enhancement (ENLARGEMENT) program also wanted 'nicer' (BIGGER) breasts.

i don't see how they can continue living their lives. every guy that looks at them, talks to them, dates them, fucks them, MAY not be interested with their breasts, but the women will not know that. they would be paraniod and always thinking "why is john so good to me? is it because of my beautifully enhanced (ENLARGED) boobs?"

somebody tell me, what's wrong with small breasts anyway?


retrenchment thing

it's some government advertisment about people getting retrenched and then learning new things to get another job.

"when i heard that i was going to be retrenched, the first thing that struck me was, what is going to happen to my job?" hey, normally, when you get retrenched, it means that you have no more job. and so far, i've seen 2 different people in the same advertisment saying EXACTLY the same sentence.

and this is supposed to be a government funded project. i mean, if you want to give them rehersed speeches, at least make them different. doing something like this makes people wonder if those 2 fuckheads are actually part-time actors, thus losing credibility in the advertisment.


search for missing china girl

see? china girl missing. have no idea why so many people bothered to 'help' find her. every year, so many SINGAPOREANS go missing, and no one gives a flying fuck. but a CHINA girl goes missing, everyone cares. maybe it's the government secretly doing it behind the scenes, hoping to build up good bilateral ties with china, especially after we fucked around with them by visiting taiwan.

ok, not that i oppose of anything. but some of the volunteers are just fucking retarded. that day on the news, it showed a group of people, mostly women and childern, going for what looked like a family outing in mcritchie resevior. but no, they were looking for the china girl! what the fuck? then, there was this man, bravely walking alone in the macritchie reservior "jungle", searching for "clues", then pleading with others to help join in the search in the "jungles".

what. the. fuck.

this guy obviously watched too many police movies and read too many detective books. fine, the supposed kidnapper may be a malaysian, but that does not necessarily mean that he is so fucking stupid. there are probably 20,000 other places to hide a girl. 20,000 other places that are not filled with runners and away from civilisation. and whatever in the world made these volunteers think that she is in macritchie reservoir anyway? why not pandan reservoir? or bedok reservior? why can't she be happily watching cartoons in an apartment with the man? out of so many many many possible choices, they chose macritchie reservior.


watched reservoir dogs, meaningless show with lots of vulgarities and some violence. it's about some diamond heist by a group of men. it only shows events before and after the heist, but never during the heist itself. no idea why it's so widely acclaimed.

hungry

as his boss likes to say, "what have you learnt today?" he says it in place of "how are you?" because it would always be replied with "i'm fine, thank you," regardless of how fucked the situation the person is in. if you still don't get it, the point is that it is a fucking retarded and useless question.

so, what have i learnt today?

i learnt that you should never ever fuck around with a hungry man because he will eat you for dinner.

don't believe me? try fucking around with me and i will personally eat you. why? because i'm a hungry man. been eating A LOT in recent months, a stark contrast to the 1-meal-a-day i practiced about a year ago.

i fear that i will become fat. then i will become a miracle, overcoming all odds to turn into a fat fuck from the underweight fucker that i am now. anyway, the thought of turning fat probably won't be bothering me anytime soon. or at least till the point when i look in the mirror and realise i've sprouted a pair of man-boobs.

but there's always liposuction. plastic surgeons need to earn a living also, you know? that's where (potentially) fat people like myself come in. we pay for their cars, houses, food, condoms, son's food, daughter's dildos, everything. of course, i do not see myself visiting one any time in the foreseeable future.

so remember today's lesson. DO NOT fuck around with me. i WILL eat you. or at least attempt to consume as much as my hungry stomach can contain, which would probably be quite a large portion of you.

school is (mostly) useless

right? whatever we are learning now probably wouldn't be used in our lives 99.99999% of the time. so let's round that up, it probably wouldn't be used in our lives all the time.

unless you want to be a teacher.
or a geologist.
or a biologist.
or maybe the the greatest physicist of all time.
if your dream profession includes one or more of the above, then i congratulate you in your quest to memorise every single thing you've learnt in school and hope that it would come in useful in the future.

but that's abnormal. normal people like myself would want a normal job and live a normal life (yes, i consider myself normal). we wouldn't want to be in a classroom filled with adolescent retards squealing their heads off while we attempt to teach them something we learnt 30 years ago. I wouldn't want to be in the deserts studying rocks in the frying heat. I wouldn't want to allow my brain to expand to twice it's normal size by stuffing quantum physics theories into it then trying it out to see if the theories actually work.

most 'normal' people would probably prefer 'normal' jobs ('normal' because some people may feel that 'normal' is not exactly normal), like
manager
fast food operator
mechanic
ceo of multi-national company
soccer player
security guard
shop owner
social escort
professional fellatio receiver
see? none of the above 'normal' jobs would require any skills learnt in school.

i'm pretty sure a security guard will not need to know differentiation. heck, ceos do not even need to know how to read a graph; it's the damn secretary's job to translate unreadable things into readable things. a soccer player will not be asked to find out the pH of the soil. a social escort may need to be able to identify certain body parts, however.

see? we do not have subjects teaching us about any of these things. things we learn is going to become useless to us. it's just a damn mighty waste of time learning complex maths skills when the most we probably would be doing is finding out how much interest the bank is going to pay for your deposit. then again, that's the bank clerk's job.

don't believe me? go ask your parents how much of their school stuff they can actually remember and use. most likely it's close to nothing. that is unless your parents are teachers, geologists, biologists or physicists.

but if you do badly in school, you would not be able to get a good job. why? because people look for qualifications when employing you. let's imagine you are with another guy applying for a job in some company. the guy is a university graduate while you are a secondary school drop-out. although you are 10 times more capable and suitable for the job, the boss decides to employ the other guy. why? just because he is better 'qualified'.

so, as useless as school and exams and qualifications are, i still need to have them in order to get a good job, drive a bmw convertible and fuck my hot 17-year-old seceraty, just like HIM. maybe not the last part.

avrilavrilavril

once upon a time, i listen to avril's songs and believed that they were nice. once upon a time, i looked at avril's face and believed that she was pretty. 2 years later, i listen to avril's songs and think that they make my maid's karaoke singing sound nice. 2 years later, i look at her face and still think she look's pretty.



maybe not. but the one on the right still looks nice.

yeah, so how in the world did my view of her change so much?

1. the discovery of better music that led me to understand that most pop songs are stupid, and found out what 'punk' is all about.

prior to this, i only ONLY listened to pop songs and also downloaded stupid pop songs. then, i discovered the greatness of godsmack from her, and i was promptly enlightened. this widened my listening range and i found out that punk is totally unlike avril's 'music'.

2. thus i come to realise that she is neither punk nor skater. but is, in fact, a poseUr.

her songs are pop. however, she believes that she is punk for some unknown reason. she also thinks that she is a skater, but more on that later.

3. i found out that she is the biggest walking contradiction in the history of mankind.

ok, this is where the fun starts.
[note: all quotes are quoted directly from avril, reproduced without permission.]

i'm a skater punk who writes guitar-driven rock.
then on a later interview,
it bugs the hell out of me when people say i'm not punk. i never claimed to be.

i'm not into gloss and glamour. its so fake.
i hate make-up and shit like that, if you wanna express yourself, do it in your music.
so what's up with the make-up? then,
i dress cool and look hot so if you don't like it, suck it.

in case you didn't know, ties on chicks are, like, so five months ago?
and she is never without a tie.
i created punk for this day and age. do you see britney walking around and wearing ties? hell no. that's what i do.

i created punk for this day and age. i am like sid vicious (sex pistols' bassist) for a new generation.
and then,
people are like 'well she doesn't know the sex pistols.' why would i know that stuff? look how young i am. that stuff's old, right?

i would describe my album as rock, pop, alternative... it's kinda all over.
but,
i don't want to be no fake pop shit.
and,
my music is true rock.

i write my own songs. i don't like people putting their lyrics into my songs.
however,
according to the matrix, they wrote the bulk of the three hit singles by themselves, following their first meeting with lavigne. "with those songs, we conceived the ideas on guitar and piano," says christy. "avril would come in and sing a few melodies, change a word here or there. she came up with a couple of things in 'complicated,' like, instead of 'take off your stupid clothes,' she wanted it to say 'preppy clothes.'"
and inside her album, next to each song, it says 'written by avril lavigne and ---'. not one song was written completely by her.

actually i think she wouldn't be all that bad if she just accepted the fact that she is NOT a punk nor a skater. and just concentrate on singing her pop songs while shutting her trap when speaking with reporters to aviod contradicting herself.

nice life

the wonderful story of my life now.

currently, i am still unable to study. and the fucking o'levels are less than 2 weeks away (i think). went to school for the past 2 days to study, or attempt to study. yesterday wasn't too bad, but today i gave up and settled for the unexplained. then went to play soccer.

today while in the bus going to school, i saw probably the most beautiful girl/woman/female i've ever seen. seen, as in met, or looked at in real life, get it? she wasn't BEAUTIFUL but somehow looked... exquisite. in a weird way. get it? no? fuck off. gonna try to take the same bus tomorrow.

and while playing soccer, i realised that my knee is fucked. fucked due to skating. and it's gonna cost me when i'm old. but i'm not going to stop. then when i'm 70 i would be sitting in a wheel chair, unable to walk properly due to degeneration of the knee and the condition would be worsened with osteoporosis and whatever else. ok, i'm imagining things. but i KNOW that it will be bad when i grow older.

pearl harbour

i watched pearl harboUr in the cinemas a long time ago. so long ago that i don't even remember when it happened. then it was on tv. surprised at how little of the show i could actually recall while watching it on tv. my memory is failing me.

anyway, dramatising a real event to make it sell better is always bad. of course, no one would want to sit through a 3 hour documentry on pearl harboUr. but fortunately, there were some good parts in the show, unlike titanic, which totally sucked the llama's ass.

as with anything, let's start with the bad.

1. doubt the two lead actors and that nurse actually existed at all.
- which means that they did not shoot down the 7 japanese planes.
- which also means that virtually the whole story was made up.

2. filmed from a biased point of view (american).
- made japanese look evil.
- made americans look heroic.

3. no kamikazee pilots?
- huh? were they not invented yet?
- would be more fun watching people slamming their asses into stuff.

4. kate beckinsale looks stupid in bright red lipstick.
- who disagrees?

5. stupid love story.
- stupid. stupid. stupid.

and the good.

1. kate beckinsale is hot.
- need i say more?

2. made americans look stupid.
- they ARE stupid.

3. i like seige type movies.
- anything from starship troopers to legionnaire to matrix reloaded.

4. japanese were smart.
- actually not, after the consequences are included, but still smart enough.

5. kate beckinsale IS hot.


some interesting things about american presidents i found on the net.
- there are a total of 43 presidents.
- 8 died while on the job.
- of the 8, 4 were assassinated.
- the 'f' in john f. kennedy stands for fitzgerald.
- the 'w' in george w. bush stands for walker.
- bill clinton's name is actually william jefferson clinton.

wow

look at this. every one of those dots and smudges are galaxies. the hubble deep field covers a speck of the sky only about the width of a dime 75 feet away. so many galaxies can be found in such a tiny space, imagine how many of them there really are.

the milky way, the galaxy we belong to and where all the stars we see are from, is only one of billions of others. our solar system is really an insignificant dot in our galaxy. similarly, our galaxy is just another dot in the universe. then, it is really really really stupid to say that earth is the only place that has life.

and according to the big bang theory, everything in this universe came from a point smaller than anything we can ever know of, but contains everything that the universe is made of. this point is known as singularity. before there was time and space, there was this little point. the point has no past, no present and no future. there is no darkness and no light. it was just hanging in a viod. then, BANG! the little point decided to explode. from there, the point expanded and created space and time.

there are then three theories of what happens after this.

the big crunch
if the gravitational attraction of all the matter in the observable horizon is high enough, then it could stop the expansion of the universe, and then reverse it. the universe would then contract. eventually, all matter and energy would be compressed back into a singularity. there are theories about what happens after this, but these remain uncertain as the physics of singularities remains in question.

the big freeze
if the gravitational attraction of all matter is low enough, then the expansion will never stop. as the matter disperses into ever greater and greater volumes, new star formation would drop off. the average temperature of the universe would asymptotically approach absolute zero, and the universe would become very still and quiet. eventually all protons would decay, and the universe would consist of dispersed subatomic particles. the big freeze is also known as the heat death of the universe.

balance
if the gravitational attraction of all the matter in the observable horizon is just right, then the expansion of the universe will approach zero. the temperature of the universe would approach a stable value slightly above absolute zero. the end result (with protons decaying) would be similar to the big freeze.

that's what worries me.

of course, i know that it won't happen any time soon, or even in the greatest forseeable future. but then, it is depressing to think about how everything that my existence is about would be gone. let's imagine there is a heaven. then in heaven, i look upon as the vastness of the universe is sucked into nothingness. even if there's no heaven, the thought is still disturbing.

but life earth would probably be destroyed way before that. lets say humans somehow manage to survive through all these crap that they are creating for themselves. let's say they manage to survive for another 5 million years.

by then, the sun will enter its red giant phase, expanding as the hydrogen fuel in the core is consumed. while it is likely that this expansion will reach the current position of earth's orbit, recent research suggests that mass loss from the sun earlier in its red giant phase will cause the earth's orbit to move further out, preventing it from being swallowed. following the red giant phase, the sun will become a white dwarf, slowly cooling for a further 5 billion years or so.

so let's imagine there's a heaven again. in heaven, we all watch as our descendants are being burnt alive as the sun slowly gets hotter and hotter. IF somehow they manage to survive this, they would have to live in eternal cold and darkness. and IF they still survive this, they would then be brought to inexistance. everything would cease to exist. this isin't fun, since the atoms that currently make up my body would also cease to exist.

from the depths of my extremely fertile imagination, we shall imagine that our descendants somehow still manage to survive till the final seconds before everything goes back to singularity. then they would be thinking "what the fuck?! in 5 seconds everything would be gone." then "AHHHH!" squish, die. or more like cease to exist.

then people would say "oh, nothing to be afraid of, since everyone has to go through the same thing." like what they say for things like exams and death. but if everyone has to have their arms chopped off at some point of their lives, does that mean that it's nothing to be afraid of? NO. and i fear death, or more like the uncertainty of what happens after death.

if there's no heaven, death is bad. everything that i've gone through in my life would be gone for ever and ever. if that's the case, why live in the first place? the 70-odd years i've experienced is totally insignificant compared to the billions and trillions of years in the life of the universe. i'm totally useless and my existance is pointless.

if there's a heaven, death is still bad. because then, i would be sitting in heaven for eternity. i'm already so damn bored now, imagine what it would be like to be bored for eternity. my existance would also be useless and pointless, since i really cannot think of any use for staying up there for ever. even when all space and time do not exist, i would still be rotting in heaven. not fun at all. and also, according to christianity, heaven is pure, humans are not. therefore, it is in my belif that i will not be allowed to remember anything and everything that happened to me during my time on earth, since my thoughts are unpure. so then, the question again is, what's the point of my existance here? why can't god just put me in heaven to live out eternity?

since the time i realised that i will die some day, i have been extremely worried about this. obviously, i knew that i would die one day from the furthest memory i can remember, i simply believed that i would go to heaven. what happens after that, i didn't think about. then one sunday afternoon about 3-4 years ago, the thought suddenly came to me while i was staring at the seconds ticking by on a clock. the thought was too much for me to handle and i cried. the thought still troubles me deeply now, and i still have not made up my decision on whether it would be better if there was a heaven or not.

however, i think if i had a choice, i would rather burn in hell with my memories intact then go to heaven and be bored in eternal happiness without any memories. that's what i currently think anyway.


wow! super long post. today was a bad day. i was supposed to assemble for my o'level science practical at 9:15 am and i woke up at 9, and my house is at least 25 minutes from school by bus.

?

i can remember a place i used to go. chrysanthemums of white, they seemed so beautiful. i can remember. i searched for the amaranth. i'd shut my eyes to see. oh, how i smiled then, so near the cherished ones. i knew they would appear... saw not a single one. oh, how i smiled then, waiting so patiently. i'd make a wish and bleed. while i waited i was wasting away. i can remember... dreamt them so vividly, soft creatures draped in white, light kisses gracing me. i can remember when i first realized dreams were the only place to see them. while i waited i was wasting away. hope was wasting away. faith was wasting away. i was wasting away. i never, never wanted this. i always wanted to believe, but from the start i've been deceived. i never, never wanted this. inside a crumbling effigy, so dies all innocence. but you promised me...

afi - the great disappointment

see the greatness of afi. i have no idea what this song is about. no idea at all. but the song is still nice. actually when i listen to songs, i would totally have no idea what it's all about, and don't understand the lyrics too. unless of course, it's some stupid pop/love/slow song which even a deaf man can decipher.

byebye

no one cried today, or i didn't manage to see any. that's rather strange since there were many secondary 4s that did so in the previous years, and were caught on camera (losers). perhaps it's because no one really gives a fuck. anyway, not that i would enjoy the sight of men crying for such retarded reasons. good for you, my fellow secondary 4s, for at least you have some sense in your sick and twisted minds.

damn sji HAVE to make us sing and reflect on every damn 'special' occasion. there was this 'relflection' paper in which we were supposed to write the names of 4 people that changed our lives in the past 4 years, and write down what we've learnt in sji on the other side. the paper would then be folded into a 'star' and be hung on some ribbons. of course, i wanted to leave the shit blank, but then felt it would be weird to hand it in empty. so, under 'reflections', i wrote "i have learnt... actually i haven't learnt anything." just to fill up some empty space.

i don't dislike the students, just some of the teachers. but there would definitely be students i wouldn't mind not ever meeting again. just to show how truely sick and perverted the teachers are, the damn assistant principal, aka goh poh kenn, confiscated a soccer ball from 411 because they were playing in class while waiting for their teacher to come and dismiss them.

fine, goh poh kenn isin't really a teacher, but whatever, she's still a bitch. like what the fuck? it was supposed to be a 'happy' day for us, and the day would have been over in like 10 minutes. but being a damn fucking bitch, she HAD to make us suffer. maybe she was worried that no one would remember her stupid face and thought that by making us hate her, we would remember her. congrats, bitch, we WILL remember you. and of course, there are faces like kefli's whom everyone would definitely enjoy never seeing again.

zombies

i have a special liking for zombie flicks, have no idea why. just watched resident evil 2 and shaun of the dead, thanks to the greatness of file sharing.

shaun of the dead was fucked due to the wonderful camera angle of the damn filmer. the dumb ass chose a damn corner seat so the size of the 'screen' was reduced to half its original size. then again, can't be expecting much from these illegal activities. but from what little i saw, it wasn't too bad, although i fast-forwarded through most of it and finished in about 15 minutes.

resident evil was nice, but slightly too action-packed. the remake of dawn of the dead is still the best. nothing beats damn sprinting zombies.


mmm, didn't go to school again. tomorrow's the damn last day in sji for us secondary 4s. whatever, not that i like the damn school anyway. however, it would be interesting to see which faggots are truely gay enough to cry. it's not like we're all gonna die or something, right? not as if each and every one of us are gonna be thrown to different continents and can never EVER meet again.

the last time i've witnessed such mass-crying sessions was in primary 6, during the last day of school, by some girls (what's surprising?) AND some boys (that's surprising!). truely shocking sight, dammit. they were like "i'm so sad, i won't be seeing you again, for ever and ever." seems that the telephone was not invented four years ago, huh? and they had to travel like 20,000 miles to get to the damn shopping centre to meet up again.

whatever.

the story my cousin told me gets the damn award simply for the sheer retardedness of it all. it was just before this year's o'level chinese results were given out. and what else could the girls do but cry? so they were crying, BEFORE the damn results were out. so smart.

oh, and all of them passed, except for a guy.

back on topic. definitely would be interesting to watch faggots crying.
go hug a random crying faggot.
you: oh, i'll miss you too!
faggot: sob sob.
*slap faggot across face*
you: i'll definitely miss doing that!

yuck

so i suppose you somewhat know that i've been cutting my hair for quite some time if you've been around here. so basically i've been flushing the hair down the sink. nothing wrong, right? no. as i've discovered today, the damn hair would/will clog up the pipes. fortunately i discovered it early so no harm done.

so, some hair got stuck in the 'water stopper' thing, the stopper that you stick into the hole to allow you to collect water in the sink. so no big deal, i pulled it out. then YUCK! there was like a layer of black shit/stuff/gunk/whatever stuck onto the 'innards' of the water stopper. and some hair was stuck to the shit/stuff/gunk/whatever. the black shit should have originated from normal usage (toothpaste, whatever), and not from the hair, but it was still damn fucking sick.

being the brave man that i've always been, i took a damn toothbrush and brushed/scrubbed away the black shit/stuff/gunk/whatever. then i used a torch and peered into the damn hole. bloody. big. mistake. damn more fucking black shit/stuff/gunk/whatever in there, again with bits of hair stuck on it. no damn fucking way i'm gonna clean that, i tell you.

so kids, the moral of the story is, never ever flush hair down the sink because it would get stuck to the black stuff and then trap more hair. if you ever decide to do some cutting, bundle up the hair and stick it into your enemy's coffee or eat it or whatever. just don't flush it down the damn sink. or if for some reason you decide to look down the pipe, dig out some of the black stuff, stick it in your mouth and tell me what it tastes like.

.................................................................................

boo. it's damn 9:28 now and i'm supposed to be studying. anyway, was leaving the computer on while downloading movies, and decided that it would be a damn waste of electricity if i didn't use it. so i did. anyway, i am be extremely interested in watching the following movies:
- shaun of the dead
- resident evil 2
- dogtown and z-boys
- reservoir dogs
- pulp fiction
- kill bill vol 1 & 2
- dodgeball
- second yamakasi movie, whatever the fuck it's called
currently downloading some of them. damn ares won't allow me to download multiple files at the same time. so it's gonna take some bits before they're done.

mmm. rocks are evil. that's what i heard on perfect 10 just now regarding geography. and thailand means the land of the smiles. suprisingly, i happened to flip on the radio. and i heard the nelly song, whatever it's called. and it's mother-fucking retarded. oh, i just heard another song, by some american chinese fuckhead. it goes "i'm gonna learn chinese, i'm gonna learn chinese (repeat 20,000 times)" mmm, needless to say, i don't normally listen to the radio, especially after i discovered the greatness of godsmack in late october last year, which then paved the way to greater bands and music, like afi.

back on track, the thing about nelly. why why why is he so fucking retarded. he is like what i would call the basic mold of the fucking retarded assed 'nigga', which also includes other fucktards like 50 cent, as they like addressing themselves. surprising how they can take a term that is used racially against them and then use it on themselves. shows how smart these 'niggas' are, huh? anyway, nelly is one smart 'nigga'. recently while at hmv, i saw his albums. he made 2 damn albums, which is supposed to be a 'set'. what a damn great way to earn money. 2 albums, twice the money. wow. too bad people are actually stupid enough to buy his crap.

oh yes, i rediscovered blurry by puddle of mudd. i downloaded it ages ago but it got lost when my computer crashed. then recently they played it with the pearl harbour advertisment on tv, which then reminded me of its existance. and i downloaded it again. great song.

see, yet another meaningless paragraph from the great one. oh, and i decided to try try try to speak somewhat proper english, which means cutting down on singlish and pronouncing my words better. dunno why i'm doing this, really.

grey

the weather's so grey now.
grey weather sucks.
grey skies makes everything else dull.
fuck, there should only be 2 kinds of weather.
either bright and sunny, with nice blue skies,
or when it's not bright and sunny, dark and stormy.
and stormy means real big storms with lightning and thunder.
not some stupid afternoon shower like what's been happening recently.

didn't go to school for the second day in a row. can't seem to be able to wake up. school ends on friday anyway, so probably won't matter much. most people are counting down the days to the start of the o'levels, but i'm different. 'cause i'm fucking smarter, i'm counting the days till the exams are over. currently, it's 41 damn fucking days more to my total and complete freedom.

fuck

ahhhh! fuck this fucking shit. i wrote a nice fucking long entry this early afternoon and it got fucked while posting. then i wrote another fucking nice long entry and my internet fucking crashed just as i was about to post. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

yay

good charlotte.
what the fuck? retarded eh? absolutely. totally. completely. damn fucking stupid pop-punk shitheads deserve to have their asses run over by a lawnmower then get sit on by a 300kg woman and be smothered to death.

you can't fucking cross punk and gangster crap. mohawk spike things, and stupid piercings. fuck off, bitch. anyone that has an iq of over 50 can tell the difference between shitty and decent music, and those fuckhead happen to fall under the category of 'shitty'. bah, shitty shouldn't have inverted commas, because they are just plain shitty.

girls that swoon over these guys because they have running mascara, stupid peircings and sing cool 'songs' need some fucking sense beaten into them. guys who like them may not realise it yet, but might as well just start accepting the loving touch of a man for their music is specifically designed for stupid teenage girls. but that still does not mean that girls should like them in their blooming retardation.

each and every one of them look just like those typical losers who get their asses beat up in school and sit in front of the tv all day. so one day, one of them saw blink 182/sum 41/any other band with numbers in their name on mtv and decided that it was their only way ever to be accepted by people. so what else could they do but to learn some basic instuments and form a band together?

to prove my point, little things - yeah this song is dedicated to every kid who ever got picked last in gym class. (this is for you!) to every kid who never had a date to no school dance. (this is for you!) to everyone whose ever been called a freak. (this is for you!) see? losers are able to emphatise with losers.

so they had their members, but still lacked a name. unknown to the other members, one of them was gay (asshole with spiky hair), and liked to call himself charlotte. actually all of them were gay, but whatever. so he proposed the name 'charlotte'. since the other members were all gay, the name charlotte appealed to them. "charlotte? good!" they said. so the fuckhead said "good charlottte!" yay, there, they have their name.

"what music to play?" they asked. boo, that was like a no-brainer. being retarded fuckheads, they didn't know. and having a combined iq of 30, they thought that blink 182 and sum 41 were punk bands. thus, they too decided that they would be 'punk' and sing 'punk' songs. however, punk songs don't ever go girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money. boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny.

singing their songs and dressing like transvetites, these fuckers go on to make millions off muddle-headed teenage girls (and boys) who deserve to be killed together with their idols. boo. pop-punk shitheads deserve to die.

losers

to all the losers of sji, FUCK YOU. "so what's this all about?" you losers ask. well, losers like fat fuck and many other fellow sji fuckers have allowed their parents to read their extremely touching letters that the damn school forced us to write. if you don't know what i'm talking about, read the post on 27 september.

some actually allowed their parents to go to the damn graduation. these people cannot be blamed, for they are simply just plain ol' losers. i have no idea how the hell can they endure the embarrassment they would face each and every time they speak to their parents after their letters have been read. then again, there are some who truely have great relationships with their parents, and are able to tell them "mum, dad, i love you," everyday. unfortunately, i am not one of them.

and then, there are some, like fat fuck, who actually think they are smart enough to prevent their parents from reading the damn letter by telling them not to go to the graduation ceremony. unfortunately, they are so fucking stupid that they allowed the school to send the letter to their homes while they were rotting happily in school. so then, their 'great' plans failed them as their tearful parents (mothers) greeted them with wide smiles when they return home.

REAL intelligent people like myself have devised absolutely fool-proof plans that only fucking geniuses could have thought of. here's the simple AND effective 3-step plan that absolutely works.
1. write a FAKE letter. quote directly from the 'guidelines' and let it be known that you are quoting to the reader.
2. tell your parent(s) not to attend the ceremony. force them if needed.
3. intercept the letter and dispose of it. of course, this has to be done before they even have any idea of the letters' existance.
i successfully completed all 3 steps and thus, have avioded many potentially embarrassing situations i may have with my parents.


oh ho, i bought a new deck to replace my big fat and heavy old one. element.

eightballs

from fat fuck.

ok, time for a true story. there was once a boy called eight balls. he was in secondary 4 and was called eight balls because he had eight balls. 2 eyeballs, a pair of testicles, 3 balls from his tribal bag, and one ball from his name, **bal. unkown to all his friends, eight balls was a paedophile.

one day, while out skating with his friends, eight balls decided to leave them behind to meet a girl, much to the disapproval of his friends. this girl was no ordinary girl. she was fucking ugly, and was only in secondary 1. of course, this fits the bill perfectly for eight balls, for he is a paedophile, remember? and no pretty girl would want to go out with him.

of course, a 3 year difference may not seem much to some people, but to me, it is fucking big. in my eyes, a secondary 1 girl is no different from a primary 6 girl, and a primary 6 girl is no different from a primary 1 girl. therefore, i felt that eight balls was in fact, going out with a primary 1 girl. to me, girls are only considered girls when they are at least in secondary 2. any lower, they are children.

then again, i would never have blamed anyone for going out with a child if she was fucking pretty, but eight balls had fucking bad taste and chose her. or more like he had no choice.

so the news of regarding his paedophilia spread like wildfire, and soon, many people in school knew about it. however, being good people, his skate mates only told a few people about this matter. it is believed that some other skaters they met that day found out about the news from his skate mates and decided to tell everyone.

having eight balls and no brain, eight balls thought that it was his loyal friends who had betrayed him. thus, he decided to go on a speech strike in order to make them feel guilty by not talking to them. as i've said, he has no brains, and therefore, doesn't realise that bastards like them feel no remorse. furthermore, it wasn't even their fault.

so, he was happily ignoring his ex-friends and going out with the little girl, hoping to get her in bed. so to all you little boys and girls out there, if you ever find out that any of your friends ,whether male or female, knows a guy by the name of eight balls, tell them to watch out, for he is up to no good. and if he happens to approach you on the streets, DO NOT talk to him or let him come near you. if he does, deliver a swift kick to his balls (the ones between his legs) and tell him "that was from ryan."

ps. i thought of this idea a long time ago, but didn't have the chance to blog, as my father was home. as a result, fat fuck beat me to it, and blogged about it first. now, he insists that i'm a copycat. so, i'm gonna give the credit to him.

stalefish

yay, i ate a stalefish today. mmm, that rhymes. yeah!
i ate a stalefish today.
i ate a stalefish today!
i ate a fucking stalefish today!
of course, i know that it is a stale fish and not a stalefish. but who cares? stalefish sounds cooler. coz im c00l.

so, about that fish. i bought it from the damn malay stall. dunno what the fuck is it. fat fuck thinks that it's stingray. yeah, whatever the fuck it was, all i know is that it was rotten. or maybe rotting. tasted bitter and sour. felt soft and sticky. foul.

not bad for my first experience eating stalefish. by the way, i think the 'sweet and sour', aka ketchup fish my maid cooks is worse than that. so now i'm officially de-virginised in the art of eating stalefish.

and for all you betards out there, i didn't eat the whole piece of fish. please, i'm too smart to do such a thing. and i'm not even reduced to the point of begging in the streets for food, so i can afford to throw away a piece of fish without starving to death.

32

i'm 32 years old, have fucked 32 women, have 32 hairs on my testicles, live on the 32nd floor, have a salary of $32,000 per month. and i fucking scored an aggregate of 32 for my prelims.

boo. i'm not exactly disappointed, except for the damn fact that i scored a fucking c5 for english. what the fuck? i thought i could at least get a damn b3. and then, had i also had a damn c6 for history/social studies, which i thought i did quite well, or at least for the history section. failed both maths as expected, with e8 for emaths (43! damn) and f9 for amaths.

yeah, whatever. hope i won't do so badly for the real thing. hope. but then, i'm probably going to really study for that.

random

me no bloggie 4 2 daes coz moi father cum hum frm china. yeah, don't you just love people who type like that? anyway, that sentence was true. can't possibly blog with him checking on me all the time. i believe the FUCKs and other random vulgarities won't sit well with him.

and gruduation was yesterday. please do not be mistaken; it is not graduation dinner, but graduation ceremony. so basically, we just got on stage and shook some balding fucker's hand and took some retarded certificate. sounds simple? no. being a catholic school, sji teaches us to support the irish republican army and take part in mass singing sessions. so much of the time yesterday was spent (wasted) on singing. how nice. this queer stuff makes outsiders think that sji is weird. but sji IS weird. and for some reason, they wanted us to be in school by 3:30 although the damn thing starts at 5.

i watched in amusement as many parents (mothers) began crying after reading their child's letters. wonder what would happen if they decided to compare their letters with others, only to discover that all of them are alike. fortunately, my mother (and/or father) didn't attend that shit and read my well written letter whcih would cause them to hate me for life.

i had an unsuccessful escape attempt and had to wait till the the ceremony ended at 7:30. then went with fat fuck to peninsula plaza to buy some shoes, because my old ones were dying.
bought these

to replace these.

notice the bits of colour similarity? my extremely clever sister thought that i coloured the blue parts into my old shoe.

oh, and i created another 'blog', www.hollowhead.blogspot.com which links here as i believe many people do not believe in the existance of www.gayfag.blogspot.com. so hopefully they would now believe that the other 'blog' is real and visit it.