if you've been around here long enough you'd probably know what's coming up next...
"ten seconds left until midnight nine chances to drown ourselves in black hairdye eight faces turned away from the clock seven windows and six of them were locked five stories falling forever and ever three cheers to the mirror and now there're two of us can we have one last dance?"
and now a summary of the year, with the first paragraphs of the first posts of each month.
jan all the way till last night, i refused to look at anything with the year 2010 on it, like the date on the newspaper, computer calendar, etc.
feb every night when i go to bed, there is probably someone doing the same just 2 metres above me, and another person 2 metres below me.
mar today i had to go for my HIV blood test, and i've been feeling quite uncomfortable about it. not because i'm worried that the result would be positive, but because it involves sticking a needle in my arm.
apr i've been watching bits of channel 8 series recently, and one recurring thing i noticed is that they advocate 'fighting for love,' aka 'if you love someone you gotta do everything to get her.'
may yesterday while playing soccer, i twisted my ankle after sprinting half the length of the court to make a last ditch tackle.
jun the skies have been more blue than i've ever remembered them to be. maybe whatever bad things we're doing to the world now have one good outcome after all. and after this we'll all die and there's nothing left to see. back in secondary school i used to take photos of clouds because i figured each cloud is significant in its uniqueness. it's there one moment and the next it's gone, never to be the same again. and in its short lifespan, at least someone noticed it.
jul
aug a few days ago i read through some of my old journals, and i was surprised by the amount of thought that passes through my head, and surprised by how much of this has been forgotten, or would have been forgotten if i hadn't written them down.
sep school starts in 20 days and all that's on my mind now is what colour to paint my bike and where to go for a holiday. and also my room has been its current half-done state for too long already.
oct after a long and painful battle, my email mysteriously started working again. i filled in the form for recovering my password, and they asked a lot of questions like,
nov when i open the fridge these days, all i see is chocolate. lots kit-kat, kinder bueno, and in the cupboard there's chocolate chip cookies, pocky, potato chips. those are like the only thing my sister buys when she goes to the supermarket with my mother.
dec sorry for being away but this is what's been on my mind these 2 weeks: nothing. maybe it'll make your heart grow fonder? i think that's bullshit but who am i to say?
next year it's time to work real hard in my studies. i have been doing absolutely nothing since school started and my exams are in may so it's time. throw myself into a crazy routine and see how it helps. maybe then i'll have less time to wonder why there's nothing on my mind.
anyway i read on yahoo this nonsensical article that "believe it or not, researchers at SETI (search for extra-terrestrial intelligence) — an independent non-commercial organisation in the united states — released a shocking statement last week that three giant spaceships are heading towards earth."
and erm i just saw this awesome comment on it "ya.... somebody's coming from UrAnus....."
ok back to topic, i recently watched skyline, another nonsensical movie about aliens. i found the story itself to be rather absolutely shitty, but i thought the idea behind it was very very scary. i may be making fun of the absurdity that spaceships are heading towards earth, but when the day comes and i see a giant fucking ufo in the sky, the only thing left for me to do is to say oh fuck.
i've always thought christiano ronaldo was one of the biggest cocks of all time, but yesterday after reading something about him on my friend's blog, i was hit by a rare bit of empathy.
i wondered just how did the 18 year old kid who left his family and girlfriend back in portugal to go play for the biggest club in england, the kid who cried every night because he missed home, with the little spaghetti hair falling down his forehead, turn into the biggest cock of all time in a few short years?
then i realised it's really not that easy being him. taking over the number 7 shirt from DAVID BECKHAM, i remembered the media saying he was the next big thing after his first match, and then blasting him a few matches later for showboating.
imagine the whole stadium booing you when you're only 18, plus the expectations of the club, the fans, plus his personal problems, you either get hardened by everything or you just wither and die. and so he toughened himself up mentally, decided that he was gonna be THE next big thing and set about doing it.
in the end, he became the best but lost himself along the way. who's to blame?
"i must admit, it feels strange to lose someone. it feels like a part of me is missing, but she was never a part of me- it was her story, our story that is now missing. places, words, people, they all start to lose their meaning once she left, because these things, they were all inextricably linked to our story. now without their old significance, they're just empty vessels waiting to be filled again. i think it's this feeling of emptiness when i come across these artifacts that haunt me the most. things that once meant so much, i look at them and sometimes i forget their significance, they don't mean anything to me now, but it'll come to me in a flash and then i'll know. that's when the strange feeling starts."
sorry for being away but this is what's been on my mind these 2 weeks: nothing. maybe it'll make your heart grow fonder? i think that's bullshit but who am i to say?
