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Monday, December 31, 2012

here we go


"ten seconds left until midnight
nine chances to down ourselves in black hairdye
eight faces turned away from the shock
seven windows and six of them were locked
five stories falling
forever and ever
three cheers to the mirror
and now there're two of us
can we have one last dance?"

take it easy

and now a summary of the year, with the first paragraphs of the first posts of each month.

jan
considering all things, 2011 was quite a good year for me. a little boring you could say... nothing happened, but that's good.

feb
for the past year or so, the back of my heels have been in pain whenever i run or play soccer. i don't know what's wrong with it and i haven't really bothered about it since it only hurts but doesn't really affect my mobility.

mar
some songs just have an otherworldly feel to them, like i can close my eyes and suddenly wonder where the hell am i, almost as though i've left my body.

apr
i was looking through fb and i came across a girl who was once 'involved' with a friend of mine. i clicked through some of her photos and it seemed that she's now with someone else. from what i know he's the first one since my friend.

may
the problem with studying this year is this laptop. it all started that one fateful day when i finally decided it was time for me to procure all my necessary notes and past year papers.

jun
last week i was watching some shitty drama serial on channel 8 when i realised there's one very easy way to differentiate between good and bad actors.

jul
the euros are over and i didn't even manage to watch a single match in full.

aug
in the past, whenever i was about to get into any altercation, i would get an adrenaline rush associated with the flight or fight response. my heart would start beating faster, my hands would tremble, and i found it hard to think clearly.

sep
ever since it began and gained popularity, i've managed to stay away from the stupid gang nam style shit.

oct
some new albums have been released these past months. there was once when i knew about all the new releases of my favourite bands and i would download/buy them ASAP. these days though, it's a different story. sometimes i'll be reading wiki or wherever and i see WOW NEW ALBUM?!

nov
sometimes you read on the news of cheating spouses and shit like that, maybe a murderer or rapist, and all evidence is against them, nowhere left to hide but they're still denying any involvement.

dec
yesterday i saw a friend post this video on fb, titled "my soundtrack to most days" and some people liked it and someone commented "I LOVE THIS!!!!!!"

5 significant songs, 2012

1. taylor swift & the civil wars - safe and sound
i cannot remember how i came to know of this song but i'm glad i did. it's an absolutely beautiful song.

listening to it still takes me back to all the long nights i spent (not) studying during my study break in feb-may.

2. foals - alabaster
this is one of those songs that i can somehow get a feel of what they're trying to convey although the lyrics appear mostly meaningless.

she's up in the sky, she's up in the domes...

i can listen to this on and on.

3. death cab for cutie - transatlanticism
went to watch them earlier this year and it was a good night. they really put on a good show for the fans and his singing is one of the few that manage to sound just as awesome live.

this is another song that i've never paid much attention to before, but watching them play it really opened up my eyes to appreciate its beauty.

4. the xx - chained
it hasn't been a good year in music for me. most of the new releases fell short of expectations and i never really experienced anything that was truly great.

this song though, i feel was the standout song of the album of the year. never thought i'd like it in the beginning, but it has proven me wrong.

5. the cure - disintegration
see 2 posts down.

31

i wrote this years ago.

                                    SO THIS IS THE NEW YEAR
one hour to 12. this doesn't feel any special, just like another night save for the fact that we are gathered here to celebrate the new year. six of us sitting around this table. feeling a bit anxious as to what the new year brings, a little sorrowful that the year is ending. drink up, this dessert wine is tasty. this pretty girl beside me is getting closer. she feels good, her arm against mine. wish i could read her mind. wish i could tell what our future would bring. maybe we'd both get drunk and give each other a big slurred confession. maybe not. 

thirty minutes to the new year. two are gone, replaced by three. we sit and wait. this unspoken tension is eating away at us. is this how we're going to usher in the year? is this a microcosm of more of what's to come? oh that would suck alright. ah, just focus my attention on this girl. i want to get closer to her but it's probably a bad idea. oh look, they're whispering about us. i don't like this. how does she feel? 

ten minutes. the three have left, now there're four of us. i prefer it this way, small and quiet. wonder if they like it too? i probably only like this because of the girl beside me. drink up, get tipsy before the clock strikes 12. the year has really flown by... 

ten seconds, the radio has started counting down. our glasses in hand, ready for the big cheer. should i give her a hug? 

seven. this seems like a perfectly reasonable time. 

four. i want to, she wants to. 

two. others are watching. 

one. no.

Friday, December 28, 2012

disintegration



i've known of this song for years now but never paid it much attention. i just labeled it as one of the cure's weirder offerings, not suited to my ears.

a few months back i watched this live version and it was amazing. i wondered why i've never seen its greatness before. how did i ever miss such an amazing song?

i continued listening to this live version for a long time before i finally dug out the original to put in my mp3 player. the first time it played, i missed it completely.

the next time, i made myself pay attention. wait a minute, why does it sound like something is missing? i went home and listened to the live version again. still amazing.

what was present in the live version though, is the sound of utter desperation in his voice, especially later in the song where things really heat up.

"screaming me over and over and over!" he sings it like he really means it. interesting how he manages to make the song better, over 20 years since he first sang it.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

hypothetically

have you ever met or seen a girl and immediately thought, hey, we should totally be in love right now because we're perfect for each other?

let's just skip all the draggy and annoying 'get-to-know-you' parts and just be in love already dammit!

there're so many things that could go wrong along the way, you know? but if we skipped the journey and *poof* arrived at our destination, it's all gonna be fine and perfect!

i wonder how well it'll work out though, with the main biggest hitch i could foresee being how in the hell to avoid appearing like a creepy fucker while making this proposition.

oh well, guess we'll have to do it the old-fashioned way.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

tomorrow

let's talk about something important today: the end of the world.

everyone's like yeaaaah that's bullshit, but if it really does happen, when you're watching the meteor streak across the sky, or looking at the ground opening up beneath your feet, or seeing that huge wall of water thundering towards you...

it doesn't matter if you believed in it or not, all you can say is "OH FUUUUU..." and you wouldn't even get to finish cussing for the last time in your life.

Monday, December 17, 2012

poof

earlier this evening i was in the toilet washing my shoes when out of nowhere, this thought came to mind: what if i had a girlfriend and she died suddenly?

well she's just a girlfriend at that point of time, maybe someday i'll hate her or maybe i'll marry her, no one knows.

if she just died right there, the love we had (of course i would love her, she's my girlfriend) would be eternal. and the pain too would be eternal.

she would always be the one, and her greatness would just grow and grow. each time i think of her she's better, and before long she's the best girl ever, but then that's only because she wasn't alive long enough for the love to turn sour.

wow that would really suck.

and then i went back to washing my shoes.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

you should listen again too

so that day after writing the previous post, against my better judgement i went to listen to the song again. was i being too harsh? maybe i just heard it at a wrong time.

and... FUCK it was so bad. i got so pissed off again and decided i HAD to comment on my friend's post of that god damn awful song.

"holy shit his voice" i wrote. i purposely left it ambiguous (it could mean holy shit his voice is da bomb), partly to see what she had to say and also you know, friendship and shit.

"he can get away with making a record entirely on this takeaway show and ill still buy it [wink]" she replied.

she's being so defensive even though i didn't say anything bad, which means she knows it's shit. but buying an entire album based on this crap?

for fuck's sake girl, you're pushing it a little too far here. it's just blind idolising, or in this case deaf idolising of your hipster gods.

but i couldn't say that, cos you know, friendship and shit, so i said "but then you'll go deaf!"

"haha why?" WHY????????

"because holy shit his voice!"

Sunday, December 02, 2012

i love shit



yesterday i saw a friend post this video on fb, titled "my soundtrack to most days" and some people liked it and someone commented "I LOVE THIS!!!!!!"

well seems interesting so i clicked it and continued doing my stuff, not paying it much attention.

it was after a while when it came to me: WHAT IN THE FUCK AM I LISTENING TO?

i opened the tab and watched the video. holy fuck it had to be one of the worst songs ever made and one of the most annoying vocals ever, and that's a great feat considering the absolute crap that is music these days.

holy fuck i was so pissed off i felt like punching my screen. it is because people support such shitty music that they're allowed to breed and propagate and get worse and worse.

just because they have a hipster name and look hipster, all these fuckers are automatically drawn to them. "I LOVE THIS?" seriously?

i know that musical tastes differ but FUCK. this shit is plain unacceptable.