captured

yesterday morning we recieved a call from the family living 1 floor below us. our cat was hiding among the plants outside their house, and was probably there since it disappeared.

so my maid went down to collect it and it let loose a few loud meows as if to announce I'M BACK, BITCHES when it returned. he lost a bit of weight but strangely wasn't hungry like i thought it would be. maybe he ate their plants.

this really proves my point about the cat being stupid, somehow managing to get 'lost' only one storey down. luckily we didn't promise any reward in the poster or else we'll be poorer now.

so his return has eliminated several possibilities that could have occured.

1. my maid said that she thinks our neighbour's father-in-law had taken the cat away in the basket of his bicycle, since he cycles here from his house sometimes. why the hell she thinks he would want to do that, i will never know.

2. the cat would die and come back to haunt our house. then we would have a ghost cat as a pet. how cool is that?

3. he would wander to some far-off place like changi or malaysia or wherever and we'll miraculously meet him years later and he'll still recognise us.

stupid cat

i always read about 'amazing' pets that manage to find their way home from hundreds of miles away, and so i am somewhat disappointed that my cat is so dumb that it can't find its way home despite walking out by itself. maybe that's why i always call it Stupid Cat.

in the end, it was still my mother that showed the most concern to her most hated animal. she went to look through every floor i think, which is like 5 times of what my sister did, and also under the block.

i also wrote a notice to paste at the lift landing. "... please deliver to #21-218 if found, or call 676907xx if you have any information that may lead to her capture."

seriously though, i doubt it's ever gonna come back.

RIP cat

the cat has decided that life in my house is too damn boring, and so he ran away, walked down (up?) the stairs and found a better life.

i went to look for it just now but no luck. i think it's probably hiding in some unfortunate guy's house now, and they're gonna get a shock when they discover a damn cat in their house. that cat is damn illusive i must say, especially with its white fur blending in to the surroundings well.

maybe they're not even gonna discover it and wonder why their food always go missing and find shit around their house all the time.

anyway everyone at home is strangely blase about the sudden disappearance of the cat. even my sister doesn't seem to care. she and my brother walked down the stairs to the 15th floor and then decided to give up and come home. that's how concerned they are, checking only 6 floors out of 20.

seriously though, i don't expect the cat to come back. i doubt it knows its way back here since it's only his first time venturing beyond the lift landing outside my house. maybe some time in the future we'll see him running around downstairs, then we'll have to decide whether we should bring him home or just leave him to roam like cats are meant to do.

metalmouth

"the girl was wearing braces, which immediately adds 20 points to her cuteness level. this means that she scored 120 out of 100, which made me fall in love with her for a little while."
- me

i believe that it is a general consensus amongst guys that girls look 10,000 times cuter with braces on. i wonder if girls think the same way about guys too? i sure hope so, because i've got braces too.

just got them today and they're irritating as hell. i think i'm gonna have lots of fun for the next 2 years or so, especially when my teeth rot in the jungles. then i'll have perfectly straight teeth, except they've all fallen out.

at least i don't need to wear braces for dentures.

books?

somedays i need to read something insightful or strong to evoke my emotions, to kickstart my brain, but i can't seem to find anything nice on the web. the good blogs i used to read have mostly fizzled out and died, and i have no idea where else to find good reads.

of course, i could go get some books, but i don't really like to read books because the probability of books being total crap are quite high. ever so often i'd spend 3 days reading a book and then when it's finally over, i think to myself "wow, that was crap." then i feel sad for wasting my life on such crap.

sometimes midway through the book i'll start suspecting that it would turn out to be crap, but i always persevere till the very end and then realise i've been a fool not to heed my own instincts.

so anyone has anyidea regarding anyplace where i can read anything nice? recommend me some good blogs and such random reads. thank you.

asshat

lately i've noticed a deluge of tards wearing fedoras and other assorted hats on the streets. they think they're justin timberlake. seriously i haven't seen even a single one who even looks borderline acceptable in a hat. they all look completely ridiculous.

another factor attributing to the rise of tards in hats are fucking idiot 'fashion' articles from idiot publications like URBAN and 8days which encourage readers to wear hats, as it is the latest trend and the coolest thing in the whole world.

maybe the editors were trying to play a prank on all their unsuspecting tard readers. i think they must be sad to discover that they have so many brainless readers.

PERHAPS they wouldn't look as dumb if they were dressed more appropriately, and wearing a t-shirt is nowhere close. you're not justin timberlake and you look stupid. get over it.

that's new

my nails learnt to turn purple when they feel cold. i wonder who taught them? they couldn't do that before.

china pplz

yesterday there was a china-nese woman in her 40s sitting behind me on the bus. she was complaining very loudly to her friend over the phone. one part i overheard was about singaporeans.

she was talking about a guy from work i think, about how he treats her badly because she's from china and behaves as though she's inferior to him. she said if this was back in china, she wouldn't even have to give a shit about the guy because he's just a nobody, but because she's here in a foreign land, she has no choice but to comply.

at first i felt quite sorry for her to have to put up with shit from losers because her circumstances forced her to. then as she continued complaining (Very Loudly), i started to get quite irritated and i felt sorry for the loser who has to face her at work everyday. maybe he treats her badly so that she'll shut the hell up.

there's always 2 sides to a story, and last night i experienced both sides. amazing.

jose cuervo especial

perfect for all the slow days. good thing it doesn't taste like poop, unlike almost every other kind of poison. i'm gonna sew my pants now. hope my fingers don't get too acquainted with the needle.

and oh i finally signed up for bike lessons. this morning while driving i saw a female bike student standing in a corner in the circuit crying and screaming at her instructor. the poor man just stood there and stared at her. maybe he told her to learn to cycle first...

an interview with conor oberst

interviewer: "how drunk is too drunk?"

conor: "well if you die that's a bummer.

i don't know, i think... it's ok unless it's, you know, making you unhealthy or something.

unless you wanna be unhealthy then it's fine."

vroom

so my mother said ok to bike lessons BUT

"no buy bike next time."

at least i'm one step ahead to success.

wise old atm

"the deeper sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain."
- atm machine

i was withdrawing money from the atm when they displayed this quote while confirming my transaction. i have no idea since when did atm machines start dispensing quotes in addition to money, but strangely they do. i also do not see the purpose or link between money and quotes.

and the quote does look mightily out of place on an atm machine. there is really no relation at all. perhaps a more befitting quote would be

"everyday spend so much money, you think money grow on trees ah?"
- your mother

actually the atm machine did not create the quote, but instead stole it from some khalil g-something fellow. probably an indian wise man or poet. might be related to ghandi or ali g.

anyway regarding khalil g's quote, let's just say i HOPE it really works that way.

long gone

"to vanish into oblivion is easy to do
and i try to be but you know me
i come back when you want me to
do you miss me, miss misery
like you say you do?"
miss misery - elliott smith

sometimes i rediscover an old song that i haven't heard in ages, i can close my eyes for a moment and it almost feels like i've been transported back. it's as though if i open my eyes i may find myself some place else, back to the period when i was most 'into' the song.

it seems like my memories are attached to the songs i was listening to when they occur and there can be more than one to each song. my brain rewinds itself when i listen to the songs again.

the feelings, thoughts and memories all come back. little details i thought i had forgotten become so clear again, it's strange. sometimes i like the memories and other times i don't. that's why i'm afraid to listen to some songs.

miss misery was on my playlist during my attachment days and when i listened to it just now, i could remember myself walking back to city hall from marina after work everyday. i remember the hazy skies blurring everything around as i walked, and it felt very dreamy back then. it feels dreamy now too.

half of me hated the haze and the other half thought that the 'special effects' it made were rather pretty. i would look at the giant tv screen at suntec but only see a large halo through the haze, and think about my life and everything else. i still remember what i was thinking about.

strangely the memory chose to attach itself to only this one song despite it being part of a playlist of over 30. maybe because it's such a special song. maybe if you listen to it you'd be able to see my memories too.

tiger show

it has been ages since i last seen a shop selling canes, you know, the type that is used to whip children? i bet you've forgotten they exist. i guess caning is so out of fashion that even shops don't sell them anymore.

when i was young, there was always a cane hanging on a hook in the living room wall. ever so often, i'd be chased around the house with the whip whip sound close behind. then the next day i'll go to kindergarten with tiger stripes on my arms and body, and chances were there'll be some other kid with the same designs on their bodies as well.

this was considered so normal back then that no one even bothered. i'd even see some psycho mums wielding the cane on the streets sometimes, caning their children whenever they get out of line. now i think people would scream child abuse at the mere mention of the cane and probably call the police and spca and the newspapers if they saw children with cane marks on their bodies.

soon caning would be just a legend that parents use to scare their kids. The Legend of The Cane. everyone's heard of it, but no one's ever seen it before...

written 8th january 2008, 2:48 am

things i learnt

1. sex sells. we wanted to go see the emerald buddha but it was closed and the taxi man immediately suggested we go have a turkish bath (but with girls, not young boys) instead. quite funny considering we wanted to go to a TEMPLE and he thought that sex services would be a good alternative.

we also spent 500b (if i remember correctly) each to watch naked women demonstrate their vaginal abilities such as pulling out strings of razor blades and popping balloons with blowdarts. unfortunately it did not interest me and i diverted my eyes from the scary sight whenever they turned towards my direction. the other girls seemed very intruiged though. i bet they were thinking "wow i didn't know that was possible!"

2. paintball should be renamed painball judging by the number of bruises we have. i got shot in the back of my head and it felt like a punch. other areas included neck, toe, tigh and mask. say ouch.

3. drivers in bangkok are very patient as they would all wait behind us whenever we stopped a taxi and negotiated a price. only on rare occasions did they sound their horn. i guess they had no other choice but to be patient to be able to survive the crazy traffic jams that happen everyday, otherwise they would just die in their cars.

4. on the first night we went to a pub/club where there was a free flow of whiskey, vodka and gin because it was happy hour. so basically we had free drinks for about 45 minutes with no entrance fee, BUT i only had one drink. this can only mean that my drinking days are over. gone for good, perhaps. i don't even enjoy feeling tipsy anymore. if i was there a year ago, i'd probably have been quite drunk.

off i go

what's up

well i'm going to bangkok with some school friends this wednesday which ought to be rather exciting but i am experiencing a strange and complete lack of enthusiasm about it. that's quite sad, i think.

maybe it's because the things in bangkok aren't really to my tastes, like live sex shows and trannys and hookers and shopping and massages. not my kinda thing.

or maybe i'll find that i actually do enjoy live sex shows and trannys and hookers and shopping and massages after this trip...

blah

i was reading football365 forums about the 'oldest trick in the book.'

"i believe it is the classic "shoulder tap", in which you'll tap someone on the left shoulder while standing to the right of them. they should look round to see an empty space and hilarity will ensue.

seen here depicted on some hieroglyphics."



but apparently it was found on uncyclopedia so the guy is not as brilliant as i thought he was...