a dream

i was in the toilet shitting, and my secondary school classmate was trying to get in and 'attack' me, just as we used to do in sec 2. so somehow i opened the door for him midway through wiping my ass, and he comes in and starts to wrestle me to the ground.

i then used my shit-stained tissue to rub all over him to get him away so that i could resume wiping my ass.

dreams are always terrible.

an adventure seems in order

i was watching man vs wild on youtube until 7 in the morning yesterday. i find it interesting that he voluntarily allows himself to get into such shitty situations and eat all kinds of random crap to 'stay alive.' obviously he gets paid a shitload of money to do it, but still it's interesting to watch.

so far i've seen him eat live frogs, snakes, fish, ants, maggots, spiders, drink his own pee and eat meat off a dead zebra. he also has to endure terrible environments and situations while trying to find his way back. all those stories of tough NS trekking seem like evening strolls as compared with this crazy fellow.

i wonder how much money you'd have to offer me before i'd do something like this, although it does seem to be kinda fun. maybe i'll do something like this in the future when i'm too free and too bored with life.

actually i AM too free and too bored with life.

the cure is just an excuse

so the tickets are here, and i'm gonna see this handsome man this wednesday.

i'm going alone, so the plan is to find the prettiest girl there and ask if i can join her. and then we start a relationship, get married, have children and live happily ever after.

the end is a long way away

now that this place is getting more and more popular, i think i'm supposed to be happy. after all, blogs are meant to be read, aren't they? but i think having more friend-readers means that there are more restrictions to the things i can say here. especially if they're classmates, since we're supposed to be LOVING so i can't write about their dirty secrets and such.

that's why i like to read people's blogs without telling them. i think that a more honest opinion would be projected if they do not know of my existance. or maybe it's just that i have severe stalker tendencies.

and also my dear classmates asked why don't i speak like the way i write in here. WHY? because i think the things in here are the 'unspeakables' which i find to be too inane or too sick to be expressed in person. and also if i speak like i write, people would think that i'm retarded for a large variety of reasons.

tag?

oh my, dqb tagged me. i've never ever done something like this before...

Each player of this game starts off with TEN weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own TEN weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose SIX people to be tagged and list their names. NO TAG BACKS.

1. i never wore underwear except when going to school till i was 10.

2. i only owned white underwear throughout my secondary school days and after because colourful undies could be seen through my white uniform.

3. i am shy. really.

4. i often stalk strangers on friendster to the extent that i know many many things about them.

5. i need to turn on my 'talking mode' before i can comprehend what people say and reply them. if 'talking mode' is off and someone says something to me, i'll take about 5 seconds to think before i can reply.

6. when i eat oreos, i don't do the twist-lick-dunk nonsense. i just put the whole thing into my mouth.

7. i only drink chocolate milk. white milk has the potential to make me puke.

8. i've been using the same blanket since i was 10. there are many holes which have been stitched back.

9. i prefer to wash my ass after shitting.

10. i don't like to be touched by strangers, which means no massages, sex, facials, manicures, pedicures, sex, etc.

TAG: antihero, ceo, ken ken, LEE, erm i dunno who else reads my blog. oh VINCENT?

peanuts and fuck?

somedays i get so bored that i force myself to feel sad, just so i have something to think about.

the reason i try to feel sad and not happy is because being sad is kinda like my 'default' emotion.

i am only happy when there's something to be happy about. other times, i'm sad.

and i'd rather feel sad than feel nothing, because having no feelings is worst thing ever.

how about you?

but something's missing

it's been very rainy recently. i hope it continues to rain non stop for the next week. or maybe the next month. it feels like december.

unfortunately i'm a pussy

friday, july 20, 2007
i turned around just in time to see a fist flying in my direction. it must have been my spider sense, but somehow in my intoxicated state i managed to move out of the way.

he missed my head and hit my ear slightly.

"ouch," i thought, but the alcohol soon numbed everything.

i then stood there for a second, looking at the mofo who just punched me. in that second, i thought of several things:

1. should i punch him?

if i did, i was sure that i would destroy him. he was maybe slightly taller than me, i can't remember. but definitely skinny. and he punched like a girl. besides, he had rebonded shoulder-length hair. who could resist punching a cunt like that?

2. ok, actually i only thought of that ONE thing.

but during that one second when i thought of that one thing, i realised that i couldn't even look at him properly because the whole place was spinning. i couldn't possibly punch him when i can't even see properly.

so i shouted "AY RELAX!" but he was coming for more, and so were his friends. i couldn't defend myself so i went to hide among my friends. yes, not very glamourous at all.

then there was a big confrontation, while i was hiding behind because i thought they would cool down if they didn't see me. they went away soon after.

i then spent the rest of the night sleeping on the bridge outside, recounting my story endlessly to everyone in my state of drunkedness.

my first time in a club and so much excitement. next time, IF there's a next time, i'm most definitely going to be getting into some action instead of hiding somewhere like a pussy.

shitfuck, death comes for me

been feeling very bored with life. it's not that there's nothing to do, but everything just feels so stale and uninteresting. life feels stale and uninteresting.

not to fret, it's gonna get exciting soon, with projects and projects and exams.

but the real excitement comes in the form of the cure and funeral for a friend concerts, and a vietnam school trip in september. at least i hope they would be exciting, or else there's really nothing to stay alive for in the upcoming months.

and i'm going to the cure alone because no one wants to go see robert smith and that big spider on his head. my $180 shall fly away to a better place, into the pockets of robert smith and gang.

scarred

they messed up the results. i got 10.2 shuttle run and 56 sit and reach.

it looks ugly. should have been 5 5 5 5 4 4 at least.

a love letter

oh, how much i love you. i thought we got off to a rather cold start, hardly ever speaking to each other. but then as time went by, we began to talk, play, go out, and fall in love.

i think it's kinda weird that we're doing all these bonding things only now, more than 2 months after knowing each other, when other people would have done it long long ago.

but being in love can only lead to one thing: falling out of love. i just hope that day doesn't come.

so oh please, my dear classmates, treat each other well, then we can be in love forever. i love with each and every one of you and i hope you love me too. yes, even YOU.

[if all goes well, none of you will see this, or else i'll be known as a gay cunt for the rest of our relationship.]

for the boring times

on the bus, two kids were talking behind me.

[in mandrin]
older brother: "just go steal your friend's lah."

younger brother: "how can i steal? GOD say cannot steal!"
(神讲不可以偷!)

[in english]
older brother: "aiyah don't talk about this lah."

i'm so cool that i couldn't warm up

yesterday the 3 of us tried to do some napfa pactice and we found out that we suck at running. 2 decided to stop after the second round and only one managed to complete all 6. i'm not The One.

we decided that the reason we couldn't run was because we did too many standing broad jumps before that, and without warming up. and i was a little shocked by my jumping ability, because i went from 2.4 at the start to 2.5 to 2.6 to finally 2.7m.

we also found ways to cheat at sit-and-reach, did some pull-ups, and everything went well until it came to running.

my legs were shaking the rest of the day and now they are in a world of pain. that's why they say warming up is important.

fuck sam

remember sam?

yesterday my classmate said "my friend kinda reminds me of you."

"SAM?" i asked.

yes, it's sam. fuck sam.

apparently this sam also knows about me, through his other friends.

he said "i've finally found my long lost twin."

alright, so i wanted to see him, to see how similar we are. after all, i once said that i had a twin brother.

but stupid sam was shy! he didn't want to see me, so we had to secretly go to him and take a peek.

fuck, i saw him and he doesn't look like me at all. my friend agrees. shy sam saw me approaching and started walking up the overhead bridge.

"HI SAM," i said. he ignored me and continued walking, prentending to be engrossed in a conversation with a girl.

FUCK sam.

we'll all go to hell

i was watching live earth that day and it was so damn irritating because of all the conservation tips that kept playing on and on and on.

anyway i was watching it and i thought that the only way for our planet to go is DOWN. down down down, we'll all heat up and burn to death, the ice caps will melt and we'll all drown. and how terribly tragic it would be if we were really the only living creatures in this universe (although i believe in aliens and seamonsters), because basically we decided to commit suicide.

then the universe would be devoid of life. and everyone will go to hell because that's where people who commit suicide go to.

i think it wouldn't be this hard to save the planet 20 years ago, when they had like tv, radio and erm playgrounds for entertainment. there weren't computers and laptops and xbox-es and online porn and all these electricity-consuming things.

i felt sad because energy consumption will always increase, no matter what we do. because there'll soon be PS4s and xbox540s and 3D porn, all of which will use up a greater amount of electricity than their predecessors.

and we still haven't included other forms of pollution, like cars and farts and all that nonsensical shit. so we're all destined to go to hell, unless we stop burning fossil fuels completely.

but no one's gonna care until it's too late.

so cheesy, it's enough to make a cheeseburger

"i never ever stop wondering, wondering if you still think of us.
i don't need a photograph, cause you've never left my mind.
no you've never left my mind."
requiem for o m m 2 - of montreal

last tuesday i woke up at 6am for a jog, which i later found out to be 5km long. the reason i bothered going out to run is because my napfa test is next tuesday and i haven't ran since secondary 4.

i went out at 6am because i didn't want anyone to see me jogging, and i thought that the streets should be deserted at 6. but i was wrong, and there were many sad fucks waiting at the bus stops. shit man, who the heck goes to work or school at 6?

so anyway, i was very sad that my plan failed and many people saw me jogging. and i also decided that jogging sucks because it made me tired for nothing, and that i wasn't going to run again.

but now i'm bored and thinking of going out to run tomorrow morning at 5am, which is only 3 hours from now. sounds like a good plan, but i'm worried that there'll be a whole train of invisible 'buddies' running behind me...

wish me luck.

plain black T

i used to have too many black tshirts. because i'm emu and only wear black. i had 5, one for each day. but i'm dirty and recycle my shirts.

until one fine day, i decided that I Shall Not Wear Black henceforth. so i folded 3 of my black shirts and buried them under a pile of old clothes. the other 2 i decided i would not wear because they fit funny.

the next day i had to go to school and i had nothing to wear. i wore black.

i was sad that i broke my vow 1 day after its creation. so i bought 4 white tshirts and wore white for some time. white made me feel cleaner and fresher.

but some days are just Black Days. nothing else will work. on my first Black Day, i realised that i had no black to wear. despite the fact that i have 3 other black tshirts but they're printed and thus don't qualify. so i bought a black tshirt.

i realised that if you read the same word too many times, it will suddenly appear and sound very strange and foreign. this happened to me when i read what i wrote above. black is strange now.

it is 3.39am and i ought to be asleep.

do you like it this way?

we're all trapped in cages, like silly animals you see in the zoo. we all try to escape from these cages, because cages suck balls. in fact, they suck so bad that we spend every second of our lives trying to escape.

sometimes we get lucky, maybe the zookeeper forgot to lock the door, or we chewed at the bars until they break, and then we escape. but all we do is to escape into yet another cage.

and then we would evaluate this new cage, puzzled at why we aren't free, free like we thought we would be. sometimes, the new cage is better than the old one, so we stay. sometimes it's sucks even bigger balls, and we yearn for our old cages, but it's impossible to go back now.

before long, it's time to plan our new escape again.

the zookeepers laugh at the silly animals, because they don't know that there is no escape. only the dead get to leave.

zomg!

"july, july, july
it never seemed so strange."
july, july! - the decemberists

i knew it is july now, but i only JUST realised the significance of it. july means that half the year is officially gone. july means that there is only half a year of 2007 left. and judging by how absolutely quickly the first half moved, i'm sad to say, "2008, here i come."

july means that by my expert predictions, it'll be less than a year before i get to serve the nation with joy and pride. july means that there'll be less than a year of school left, before i'm forced to grow up waaayyy too prematurely.

july also has some other secret significances, and because it's a secret, I WON'T TELL YOU.

OMG IS IT REALLY JULY?

anyone else noticed?

i saw the advertisement for the national service 40th anniversary video on channel 5, and all i could think of was how extremely propaganda-y it appeared.

it just reminded me of some 1950s communist video, trying to preach about how great national service is, especially with that weird commentating voice.

it's so strange that the government released such a weird video. of course i didn't watch the actual video, just the advertisement. but don't they realise that something is really wrong with it? or maybe it was the tv station trying to crack a joke.

what's school?

this semester officially started 11 weeks ago. out of this 11 weeks, i've been on holiday for at least 5 to 6 weeks. not because i skipped classes, but because there are really no classes for us.

some long time ago, i was at the telok blangah SAFRA arcade. i noticed that the place smelt very much like the GV staffroom. i remembered my first day at GV and the manager showed me around. she brought me to the staffroom and my first reaction was "whoa, this place stinks!"

it smelt of stale popcorn and coke. if you want to know what that smells like, go to telok blangah SAFRA arcade. so anyway, i slowly grew to accept the smell, and then slowly grew to like it. now that i'm no longer working there, i miss it.

strange that someone would miss the smell of stale popcorn and coke, but the time i was working at GV was really one of the better days i've experienced. it was fun, and there were many fun people around, so we all had fun together.

and also i realised i'm not in contact with any of my GV friends anymore. i still have their numbers and they still appear on my msn list, but we don't talk. so sad.

and i can't believe 9 months have passed since then.