i'm gna mk fntre one dy

well as you might know (not sure if i mentioned it), i've been in the process of moving into my grandmother's old room. i cleared out everything in january and have been trying my very best to procure furniture for it.

january till now and it's still not done. "but it's only furniture," you say. a bed, a cupboard, a shelf, a table, a chair. that's all i want and it's still so hard to get done. oh and painting it took a damn long time too.

anyway when we think furniture, we think IKEA. it's almost programmed into us, our tiny little brains can't hold information for more than one furniture megastore.

there's nothing wrong with ikea, really. in fact, ikea is great, it's cheap, simple, everything that i, or anyone else for that matter, would love. so why didn't i just go to ikea?

some time back, i read an article about the global homogenisation of products, about how things are the same everywhere now. we go to mcdonalds, we go to starbucks, we go to IKEA.

individual locations in the world no longer hold their own charm, because every city is the same as every other city. and the same goes for furniture. a room in sweden would have the exact same furniture as one in china, same as one in australia.

i found it quite sad, so i told myself NO IKEA! but in the end i went to ikea, because ikea is cheap and simple and readily available. i do not have the time or money to support my dream.

well, my idealistic dreams to prevent global domination shall have to wait, i guess. so i went to ikea and lo and behold, their stuff didn't match my tastes as i thought they would, and besides, they didn't have stock.

i ended up with an ikea shelf and chair, so it could be said that ikea still managed to dominate my room with 2 out of 5 items. so so so anywayyy i got a bed from courts and now i'm only lacking a table.

and hell, the damn table is really impossible to find. NOWHERE. it's like my white t-shirt problem all over again. something nice and simple ought to be easy to find at relatively cheap prices, right? WRONG.

fresh meat

this morning i took the mrt and alighted at yishun. it was just after 8 so the place was crowded, and as i was getting off the train, there were groups of office workers at each door waiting to get in.

there were only about 3 people getting off at my door, so as i made my way out, i found it strange that the people weren't entering, but rather just standing outside the door blocking my way.

strange, i thought. perhaps they were taking the courtesy thing a little too far? but even after the door was cleared, only a few of them went in. the rest just continued standing.

maybe the train was too full? i turned to look, but no, there was still plenty of space. i looked at the other doors and at every door there were groups of people just standing there, not bothered trying to enter.

wtf? can someone please give me some explanation for this strange behaviour? if they were waiting for the next train, shouldn't they be standing somewhere farther away from the doors?

or at least they could just be milling about, rather than all camping right in front of the doors like a bunch of zombies. i dunno, maybe office life turns everyone into zombies.

poor kitty

last week after yet another friendly encounter with a stray cat that followed me into the station, i finally figured out just what the hell is the problem with my cat.

the reason strays and other cats are mostly friendly with me is because they do so willingly. they want to play, they want to follow me, they have a choice.

the cat in my house, on the other hand, came to my house without a choice. he (*she)was KIDNAPPED. or catnapped, whatever. by my sister from wherever the hell she was born. taken away from her family, her friends, and placed in my house with no other cats to keep her company.

from then on, even at her tender young age, she probably developed a hate for everything related to us. she hates us because we fecking kidnapped her.

and this let me to think, doesn't this make us some kinda psycho family? one that kidnaps children from other families to pretend they are our own, pretend that they are happy with us and all their mental instabilities are associated with other issues than because they were KIDNAPPED?

maybe that's how i came to be in this family too. that's why i'm like that. who knows?

girl, i fear we're facing a problem

my maid and i, we have some serious communication breakdown between us. it goes like this: i don't ever speak to her, and when she speaks to me, i have no idea what she's saying. and by 'no idea,' i really mean NO FREAKING IDEA.

here's how it works: whenever she says something to me, the words that come out of her mouth sound something like a garbled whispered mess, something that is totally incomprehensible. i'm not kidding here.

so in order for me to figure out whatever the heck she wants, i have to go through a 3 step process, kinda like solving a puzzle.

step 1 - quickly think of all possible reasons for her to speak to me, because she wouldn't talk to me for no reason. for example, i left my dinner on the table and went away for a while. if she talks to me, i would probably be about that.

step 2 - following that, i imagine the words she'd likely be saying if she were asking me about what i think she's asking. for example, "still want to eat?"

step 3 - i try to match the words that i figured she'd be saying to the garbled mess that she actually said, and try to find some similarities in sound. most of the time i'll manage to get a 50% match and that'll hopefully be enough.

so much trouble just for a simple exchange of words. life will probably be easier if she'd just speak normally, and i know she can because i always hear her talking to her friends in perfectly intelligible english.

scary stuff

i'm at the polyclinic now and there are 2 little animals running around the waiting area. one is black and the other white. i don't know what animal are they, but it's like nothing i've ever seen before. not sure if they're edible, but i'd chokeslam them if it was legal to do so.

there's something strange about them. when they walk, it's with an unsteady gait and their feet make squeak squeak noises across the floor. they also make scary demonic-sounding screeches from their mouths, like a cross between a cat that has sore throat and emily rose.

these animals suddenly appeared out of nowhere and started terrorising the people here, clambering about, pulling women's hair, disturbing men reading the papers, trying to open the doors to the consultation rooms, and generally raising hell on earth.

no one dares to approach these fearsome animals, not even a brave p-man such as myself. DAMN! those things are scary i tell you. finally someone called animal control, and when they came and tried to capture the animals, they ran to a corner and started screaming and thrashing about.

i'm not sure if this was a defensive maneuver or if they were trying to call for help from other creatures, but the animal control guys wouldn't have any of it. they must have had a vast experience, because they simply grabbed the animals and half-dragged, half-carried them to their waiting vehicles outside.

peace was finally restored and the whole room cheered and clapped in relief.

written 15th march 2010, 12:15pm

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so i got home safely and went online to find out what animals were those. found them on wiki...

for real

i always sneeze twice whenever i eat mints or drink liqour, especially baileys.

i've been drinking a glass of baileys for the past hour, and i do not dare to take too big a sip, because i will sneeze before i manage to drink it all down and the contents will be all over the computer.

i must have sneezed at least 20 times in the past hour.

sex change pussy

recently something went wrong with my brain and i finally started accepting my cat as a female. as you might know, i've always seen it as a male and also treated him as one.

now that it's a girl, i find myself treating her more gently rather than roughing around with him back then. one of the favourite things i liked to do was to put him on a rotating chair and spin him round and round.

once the chair finally stops, he'll be so freaked out that he'll jump off and try to run away. but since he's so dizzy from all that spinning, he'd run left and right and bang into things like a drunken cat before hiding somewhere until the dizziness goes away.

it may sound a little like animal abuse, but i assure you that it's really fun and everyone with a pet should try it. the only reason i don't do it more often is that i'm worried he'll get too dizzy and start puking.

year of the affair

so this year has been quite eventful, with all these very public extra-marital affairs going on. one thing i cannot comprehend is how do people forgive their partners after they get cheated on? to me it's just impossible.

i think that cheating is really one thing that i can never get over. i know some people manage to get over it because they're convinced that it's just about the sex, but for me it doesn't matter if it's for the sex or love. even a kiss is too much.

relationships are based on trust and respect, and i don't see how a relationship can continue if a partner is so extremely disrespectful. there's obviously nothing in it that's worth saving.

well i guess there are strange people everywhere, with their "i can't live without you" mentalities. but still, wow.

i just don't get it.

dying

back when i was at OBS, we were out sailing one day, in the east coast area. i looked over at the CBD and thought it was raining because the whole area was covered in a thick grey mist. so i prepared myself for the storm to hit us, because sailing in a storm is no fun at all.

anyway the storm didn't come and i thanked the gods for that. we spent the night at east coast park, and set out again the next morning. again, i noticed that it was raining in the CBD. shit, i thought. maybe today we won't be so lucky.

but as we were sailing back to ubin, i realised that there were no dark clouds above the rain. if it wasn't rain, then it had to be haze from those damn indonesian forest fires. i looked around and saw that the surroundings were all clear, even to places further away than the CBD.

if it were haze, then the whole area should be equally covered. so what the hell? i finally figured that the only possible explaination was that the number of vehicles in the CBD was so concentrated that their fumes and smog managed to get so thick and evil.

anyway that was almost a year ago. on friday, i was at kallang, which is very much closer to the CBD than east coast. i again noticed that the area was covered in a grey mist, which then reminded me of what i saw at OBS. it's quite sad that our man-made damage can become so obviously seen.

at least the sunblock worked

due to more unfortunate circumstances, "not enough men" turned into "too many men," and so all i have to show for an entire day out at kallang is a terribly disgusting rash all over my legs from the sunblock.

luckily my arms are not so badly hit, while my face is completely fine, or else i'll look very nice indeed.

oh wow

now where's my NUM singlet?

yesterday due to some unfortunate circumstances, i had to go for dragonboat training, for a race this friday.

the thing about me when it comes to sports is that i don't ever want to lose, and when it's a sports competition, the feeling is even worse. i will give 100% even if i know there's no chance of winning.

so yesterday could possibly be the one and only opportunity for me to get everything right. technique, coordination, strength, everything in a single session, and it really put me in a whole new world of pain.

now i'm reduced to searching for paddling tips on youtube, such is the sadness of my life. well at least it'll be over when friday comes.

me vs me in a cage match

today i had to go for my HIV blood test, and i've been feeling quite uncomfortable about it. not because i'm worried that the result would be positive, but because it involves sticking a needle in my arm.

injections are one of the things that i've conditioned myself to dislike, which is why i think i hate myself. why else would i make myself dislike something for no apparent reason at all? just to see myself suffer?

i remember when i was in primary 1, we had to go for an injection in school. some people were afraid but i just went and sat there. i knew it didn't hurt so i wasn't bothered. in primary 6, we had our BCG injections. there were 3 jabs if i'm not mistaken. some people cried and fainted, but i just went and sat there again.

and then, somewhere along the way, i randomly decided that i hate injections and that it's disgusting having something stuck into my skin. i don't recall The One Injection where i first developed this fear, but the one furthest back was probably when i fractured my arm in secondary 2 and the stupid doctor stuck 2 drip needles in my hands for nothing.

before NS, i was quite worried that i would become a medic because i heard stories that they had to jab each other everyday as practice. wow that would truly be a nightmare.

and so came today. blood extractions are particularly disturbing because the fecking needle stays in my arm for a long time while the blood is being sucked out, and furthermore the fecking needle is inserted at an angle which i find even more disturbing.

while waiting, i decided that Today, for the first time in my life i am going to look at the fecking needle. watch that little fecker while it enters my skin, and maybe my fear will be gone for good.

so i went and sat there. i looked at my vein, but just as he was about to stick it in, ARGH i couldn't take it and looked away. and then i watched as he pulled the plunger and my blood began to flow. it was alright looking at it, but when he moved the needle FECK! i could see and feel it under my skin.

now i'm sad to say that watching myself get jabbed didn't help at all, and i'm sure that if i had to do it again i'll still feel very very disturbed.