booz

bah. i know all of you know this, but i still have to say it. singapore idol is gay. stupid. talentless. fucking retarded contestants singing fucking retarded and boring songs. brrrr. and the best thing is that the judges actually say that the singing is nice. and those fuckheads are supposed to be from the damn music industry.

but then, what else can you expect from a damn singaporean production with lousy singaporean singers and stupid singaporean judges. and it's not only singapore idol that sucks. all the damn motherfucking idols suck. big time. and then, they are singing pop songs. damn motherfucking pop songs. yay.

so, pop + singaporean (talentless) singers + singaporean (tone deaf) judges = singapore idol
to all singapore idol lovers, go listen to afi and kill yourselves.

mmm

people really do lack a sense of common now. somehow, they believe the shit that i say. and then, these fuckers take the things that i say too damn seriously.

for example: i put my msn nick as 'i am gay'. of course, this is completely untrue, for i am fucking straighter than this damn line _______ . then, people message me and say things like "wah! u really gay ah!?" boo. maybe i should try 'i am your mother', then people would say "are you really my mother!?" anyway, my current nick is 'i have a girlfriend, her name is ryan." of course, i am still (sadly) single, and my girlfriend's name is not ryan. gonna see how many people respond to this bullshit.

so guys, next time before you make yourselves believe in me, please remember to stop and think. "is ryan really gay? oh, if he was, then he would have groped my crotch by now. so i guess he isin't." ... "bah, maybe ryan IS gay, but he hasn't groped me yet because i'm not hot enough." then decide to ask me when you're done.

kefli

yay, kefli at his best again. anyway, he was pissed today during ENGLISH period, because of bad SOCIAL STUDIES results. so the conversation went like this:

random bullshit from kefli about us not working hard enough and not being serious etc, usual shit. and he is trying to push any blame away from himself, simply by saying "i've already warned you, blah blah..."
k: i won't be surprised if many of you end up working at mcdonalds for the first three months.
a: why you look down on people working in mcdonalds?
k: see? you're trying to be funny again. i've told you so many times, blah blah.
a: why you look down on people working in mcdonalds?
k: don't make me talk about the conversation i had with your mother. it's really quite embarrassing, you know?
a: the conversation is between you and her, don't have to tell anyone.
k: *forgot what he said.*
a: so you look down on me also? (softly)
*laughter from retards*
k didn't hear a, but heard laughter.
k: what did you say?
a: nothing.
k: get out. (in a calm voice)
a goes out.

kefli basically sent a out because he couldn't find a nice comeback. he did not send him out for 'trying to be funny', but instead for saying something 'funny', which he didn't even hear. and then, kefli was in the wrong to have even said anything about revealing the contents of the conversation he had with a's mother. and it was put in such a way that he was threatening a by wanting to reveal the conversation to the whole class.

and back to the time wasting, he practically spent more then half the lesson talking about how bad social studies was, and not all of us were in his class anyway. so much for me wasting time, huh?

after a was sent out, kefli was talking about how the graduation was being held before the prelim results were out. he was doing a mock 'graduation ceremony', saying something like "so and so, failed his prelims."
me: hahaha (sacarstically)
k: who laughed?
no one answers, obviously.
k immediately questions the group of people sitting at the back in me and a's group.
k: was it you q? j?
j & q: no.
k: you? ryan?
me: no.
k: who was it?
me: how i know?
k: you're not helping me, who was it?
me: how would i know?
k: ok.

see? i'm a big pussy. i regret my decision of not saying that i DID laugh at him. but i have made up my mind on that, i am going to do it the next time. anyway, what kind of reaction he was expecting from his sacarstically 'funny' remark? what other than sacarstic laughter? yeah, whatever. he has another lesson tomorrow, gotta see what it could produce.

letter

a letter to my mom i wrote, how much of a bastard i have been. we were supposed to write a letter telling which would be given to them on graduation day.

and there were damn fucking guidelines for us. anyway, i specially took the time to copy down some parts of it, just to post up here for whatever readers i might have.

paragraph 1: 2 choices. i took down the first one.
i cannot let this important day pass without sharing a few things with the two most significant people of my life, my parents.

paragraph 2: thank parents.
thank your parents for their love and support throughout your secondary school lfe despite the many difficulties and heartaches of your adolescent years.

paragraph 3: regret and forgiveness.
humbly acknowledge that you know you have not always been a good son...

boohoo, sji is GAY. hypocritical assholes. as if one fucking letter would make you a better son. i think any parents who would be decieved by this shit deserve to be killed. obviously they would know that their bastardous kids will NEVER EVER regret their mistakes. because they are bastards. and as if one letter would make damn bastardous boys become damn un-bastardous boys. NO. things like this only happens in story books.

story book with happy ending- boy is bastard. school forces boy to write letter, saying what a bastard he has been. boy writes letter. boy realises what a bastard he is. boy turns into an angellic asshole. mother and father hates son. mother and father reads letter. mother and father cries. mother, father and son have a group hug. family lives happily ever after.

real life- boy is a bastard. school forces boy to write letter, saying what a bastard he has been. boy writes crap in letter. boy remains a bastard. mother and father hates son. mother and father reads letter. mother and father laughs. mother and father slaps son. family continues their lives as usual.

anyway, if the son really knows that he is a bastard, he would have written the letter without the need of the GAY school forcing him to do so. therefore, the letter is not sincere, and is just another random piece of thrash.

and i wrote some random parts, copied from the guidelines. EXACT same words as the guidelines posted here. just to let my mother know how GAY sji is. and if everything goes well, she will not even know of its existance. since they are giving it out on graduation day, this saturday; she is not going. and if she does not get it, they will mail it here; i will throw it away before she sees it.

antz

yea, antz. not the blue creatures in antz, as in the movie. black/brown creatures that are taking over my house. yes, they are not blue, unbelievable, anin't it?

somehow, they have managed to get into most areas of my house. ever so often, i would pour out some cereal, only to see ants crawling out of the bowl. of course, they have been happily allowed into the bag of cereal by other stupid members of my family, who don't seem to know how to tightly tie up a bag of cereal with a rubber band.

then, there are many ways to kill those little fuckers. the most effective way to kill a swarm of ants obviously, is by spraying insecticide on them. but insecticide leaves a bad odour, and gets stuck to your feet.

thus, i had to find some ingenious ways to exterminate them. the easiest way of course, is by squashing them with my fingers, but that would mean i have to wash my hands afterwards. if the ants are forming a trail to somewhere, the bestest way to kill them is by rolling a battery over them. this is especially effective as the lil' fuckers are already lined up, ready to recieve the death sentence. it's almost equivalent to a steam roller crushing a human. instant death awaits them.

another interesting way is to use some sort of flame to burn them to hell. however, this method is not really good as i would tend to burn my fingers as i have to hold the matchstick/candle/lighter/whatever upside down in order to burn them. alternatively, i would drown them in soap if i happen to see them in the toilet. sadistic it may seem, but it's not my fault that they decide to enter my territory. "enter at your own risk", i have told them. they thought i was harmless, now they know their mistake.

the ant poison my maid put only appeared to work for a few weeks at best. then they come back for more. i think they have evolved into some kind of super-ant, bent on destroying anything and everything in their paths. so darwin's theory of evolution works after all.

hey

mmm. i'm sure you know about the car-giving woman known as oprah winfrey. actually, i had no idea who the fuck she was until i read the papers weeks ago. anyway, if you don't, go take a broomstick and shove it up your ass. when you're done, come back and read the next paragraph.

winfrey said the audience members were chosen because their friends or family had written about their need for a new car. one woman's young son said she drove a car that "looks like she got into a gunfight"; another couple had almost 400,000 miles on their two vehicles.

making sure the audience was kept in suspense, winfrey opened the show by calling 11 people onto the stage. she gave each of them a car — a pontiac g6.

she then had gift boxes distributed to the rest of the audience and said one of the boxes contained keys to a 12th car. but when everyone opened the boxes, each had a set of keys.
"everybody gets a car! everybody gets a car! everybody gets a car!" winfrey yelled as she jumped up and down on the stage.

the audience screamed, cried and hugged each other — then followed winfrey out to the parking lot of her harpo studios to see their pontiacs, all decorated with giant red bows.

the cars, which retail for $28,000, were donated by pontiac.

hmmm, after reading the damn thing again, i realised that i have no idea what the fuck a pontiac is. perhaps it's the american equivalent of malaysia's proton, cheap and useless. anyway, she also did this:

winfrey surprised a 20-year-old girl who had spent years in foster care and homeless shelters with a four-year college scholarship, a makeover and $10,000 in clothes. and a family with eight foster children who were going to be kicked out of their house were given $130,000 to buy and repair the home.

wow. one rich bitch indeed. i sure wouldn't mind having a fucking $10k worth of clothes. could always give the ugly ones to the bangla workers. by the way, what the fuck does a person do with that much clothes? i think the girl must be using the $500 prada dress as a kitchen rag, since she still has another $9500 worth of clothes.

anyway, seeing that my situation is quite bad, and i definitely would love to have a car or some (a fucking lot) new clothes, i wrote in to her. hoping to impress her with my ingenunity, i wrote in a one-liner, "HOOK ME UP NIGGA." now i'm awaiting her reply.

tired

fucking tired now. skated from 10:30 am to 6 pm. great huh? sustained multiple injuries. bah. still have fucking geography tomorrow. it's the final damn paper so that's fucking great news. another good thing is that the oc is back tonight, after 5 weeks without it.

future

my future looks bleak. currently, i probably have a 5% chance of making it into a jc for the first 3 months. when the prelim results come out, it would be -5%. so congratulations to me.

but then, who cares? i WANT the 3 fucking month long break. what's the damn point of going for the damn first 3 months anyway? i would rather stay home and have fun till my time comes and i go to hell. i mean go back to school.

also, people like me are planning to go visit all the jcs during our extended holidays, just to see which ones suck and which ones don't and what jc life is like. but we need to get our hands on the pe shirts of the schools. no big deal i think, can be solved.

however, i do wish to get into a jc after the o'level results are out. poly just don't seem right. whatever.

what seems impossible is getting my hands on more afi cds. wanna get the art of drowning as well as black sails in the sunset. went to hmv, and again, the fuckers blow up prices to astronomic levels. although the cds i want are not available, some of their (even) older ones were. and they costed fucking $51, which i would believe is the price of those that i'm interested in as well. fuck.

well, the modest mouse cd i bought a few months ago costs $23 at tower records before discount, but h-fucking-mv sells for $31. yay. but then again, those fuckers can blow up prices all they want, for they simply have no decent competition around. and tower records don't have the cds that i want. great.

die

at the rate we are going, with all the pollution and whatever fucking crap we are producing, the earth IS going to be destroyed. without any doubt, i'm taking part in this destruction too, and so is everyone else.

the only question is, when the world is really going to be completely and totally destroyed, would we be willing to live with only the basic necessities needed in order to allow the environment to regenerate itself? it's basically either that or face extinction, i suppose. anyway, how many people would really be willing to allow that to happen? no electricity, no whatever fucking crap that is not crucial to our survival.

i don't know, but i guess i'll have to do it. then let the generations after me to destroy the earth again. who knows? perhaps it has already been done in the very distant past.

imagine a world thriving like ours, spewing pollutants into the earth like there's no tomorrow. then one fine day, the damn leaders realised that they needed to stop themselves. so, they got some people to get into some large underground cave and killed the excess. then they destroyed anything and everything that was related to civilisation and allowed nature to regenerate itself.

so now, we have no idea that they ever existed and think that humanity has only been around for a few hundred thousand years when it could have been much more than that.


bah, titanic is being shown on tv now. stupid melodramatic show. watched it very long ago and i'm still traumatised by it's stupidity. couldn't that stupid fuckhead go swim around and look for another damn piece of wood to sit on, instead of grabbing on to one that was already oppupied? whoops, but that would mean that the stupid show would lose its 'tear-jerking' appeal, and just be another stpid melodramatic movie that show couples living happily ever after. then again, it still remains as a stupid melodramatic movie that show couples breaking up after one of them dies. whatever.

gothic?

goths scare me.
found this somewhere.

the gothic setting and mood is a crucial part of the world of darkness. if you understand the gothic aesthetic and apply it to the world you're creating, you won't end up with a bleak and desolate setting. the gothic aesthetic is not about misery and depression as so many people assume it to be. the gothic style is just the opposite.

the gothic style takes the very things that seem miserable and depressing and finds a sense of beauty in them. in the gothic sense, the night isn't something to fear. instead, the night casts a seductive spell on those willing to wander in and explore. the morbid and the tragic can seem romantic, even sensual, for those brave enough to look into the eyes of the things they fear most. it embraces the decadence of the modern world and cherishes the strength it takes to do so. squalid surroundings can drive the weaker man insane, but the crubling ruins of a once-thriving town are somehow comforting in the gothic aesthetic. to look into the eyes of the destitute is almost blissfull because there is strength there, strength that the ordinary person doesn't have.

the gothic ideal finds a fascination with the macabre and has an affinity for all things dark. darkness means more than a simple lack of sunlight. it is the overriding attitude, especially in the gothic sense. unlike the rest of society, those embracing the gothic lifestyle do not fear the dark side nor do they pretend that it doesn't exsist and they sure as hell don't hide from it. the gothic attitude is an acknowledgement and an acceptance of the darkness. it does not mean acting upon the urges that the dark side sometimes brings, but it does mean seeking out a better understanding of why the urges are there in the first place.

what may seem like a preoccupation with death is actually a celebration of life. It isn't about suicide or murder, but it is a realisation that an appreciation of death gives an appreciation of life. comfort is found in the icons or images of death. graveyards and crosses provide a dark ambience to what could otherwise be a boring backdrop.

style, flair, and imagination permeate the gothic world. creativity is essential for the gothic ideal because in that same search for beauty in all things, the gothic sensibility refuses to give in to dullness. whether it's through art, personal fashion or architecture, the gothic sense always ensures it's interesting.

what the fuck? didn't understand most of that, but from what i gather, our happiness is their 'sadness', and our sadness is their 'happiness'. but then, they wouldn't want to feel sad, because then, they would feel 'happy', right? and they don't like to feel 'happy' because that's supposed to be bad. so then, they should enjoy happiness, since it would make them feel 'sad', which is what they enjoy.

HOWEVER, feeling 'sad' would be enjoyable to them and therefore, is bad. get it? so basically in my opinion, goths cannot have any forms of feelings in order to remain faithful to what they believe in.

go see vampirefreaks.com. yuck. what in the world is vaguely nice about dressing like them? if someone like that approached me on the street, i would probably be running away and screaming like a fucking retard. brrr... scary.

dunno if edward scissorhands is anything related to goth, but it does fit the gothic description to me. it still scares the shit out of me, even after so so many years of watchig just a few minutes of the damn movie. ahhh.

fucked

fuck. got pissed by amaths. fucking relative velocity. could do it in the past, now just fucks me off.

fuck.

mama

your mama's so fat that when she got hit by a bus she said "who threw that stone?"
your mama's so fat when she wears her black swimsuit to the beach everyone mistakes her for an oil leak.
your mama's so fat when she goes to the beach all the whales tell her to move over.
your mama's so fat that when she wears her yellow rain coat and walks out on the street people call "taxi, taxi".
your mama's so fat she's got more chins than a hong kong phone book.
your mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family.
your mama's so fat that when i swerved to avoid hitting her i ran out of gas.
your mama's so fat she uses a sheep instead of a tampon.
your mama's so fat that when her pager goes off people think she's backing up.
your mama's so fat when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again.
your mama's so fat people jog around her for exercise.
your mama's so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop.
your mama's so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes new york, l.a., chicago.
your mama's so fat when she bungy jumps she goes straight to hell.
your mama's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck.
your mama's so fat she gives freddy kruger nightmares.

no

dear bitchface,

social studies was fucked.

goodbye.
love, ryan

what?

while coming home in the bus today, a bunch of girls boarded the bus and decided to sit in front of me. ok. then, one of the girls took out some stuff from her bag and passed it to another girl. so, she opened it and it was their class photo! no big deal. until the first (and fat) girl asked the second girl (fat too) something like "nice hor?" then, i realised that the edges of the folder thing that contained the picture was burnt.

wow! that's like the biggest cliche in the world. i thought it was only popular when i was in primary school (was it? or was it not popular at all?). anyway, what's so nice about having a burnt-up folder anyway? if she decided to burn a hole right in the middle of the photo, then that would be cool. very cool.

i also saw that the folder was littered with various signatures. of course, this is an extremely wide-spread phenomenon, ever present in our schooling community. but why? i have never ever gotten the point of asking friends to sign your class photo. maybe they want to show their classmates that they have a lot of friends. "ay, i got more friends than you. let's compete and see who can get more signatures."

or maybe they are so insecure that they worry when they show their children/grandchildren their old class photos, their children/grandchildren would not believe they were really in it. so they have to ask each of the students to verify that the picture was real by signing on it. however, i think it would be better if they signed directly on their faces in the picture insead, in order to better identify themselves.

then, there are those who say "it's for rememberance." so, 20 years from now, some lucky soul who got my autograph would say "ryan is such a nice person. i can still remember what his signature looks like." HAHAHA. or maybe he became a bank employee and i just happened to visit the bank he was working in. "hey, are you ryan from sji?" "who the fuck are you? how did you know what school i was from?" "oh, i recognise you from your signature." WAHAHAHA!


yeah, whatever. it's raining nice and heavy right now. the tests today weren't too bad, although maths was still fucked, as usual. but history, suprisingly, was not bad at all. so then, it's social studies tomorrow and i can prepare to die.

download

bah. go download these songs. i order you. then get busted by the cops for illegal downloading and push the blame on me. "it's really not my fault. i read www.gayfag.blogspot.com and he ordered me to go download! if you want to arrest someone, arrest him! not my fault!"

anyway, have faith in my music tastes. at least it would be worth getting busted if the songs are nice. then maybe you could request for an mp3 player with these songs inside to while away time in your little jail cell while getting ass-raped by some horny inmate.

afi
days of the phoenix
god called in sick today
morningstar
this time imperfect
my michelle (cover, original from guns n' roses)


bad religion- god's love

bright eyes
from a balance beam
the calendar hung itself

descendents - 'merican

go betty go - c'mon

guns n' roses
my michelle
think about you
civil war

misfits
descending angel
die die my darling
dig up her bones
fiend club
halloween
london dungeon
lost in space
monster mash

nofx - american errorist

placebo - every me every you (or is it every you every me?)

sugarcult - destination anywhere

system of a down
forest
psycho
science
toxicity

the darkness
i believe in a thing called love
growing on me
love is only a feeling

the knack - my sharona

the who - behind blue eyes (original, not the bullshit cover by limp bizkit)

good

my brother totally fucked up the laptop. great job. shouldn't have ever let him have internet connection through the laptop. stupid fuck.

maths was fucked. lost countless marks. HOPEFULLY i can still pass. but with e maths like that, i really have no idea how am i going to do the a maths papers. geography wasn't too bad. but still.. bah.

fucked.

lick and die

lick on the link.
LINK.
lick lick.
yes.
i said lick.
currently downloading it.
seems like a fucking nice show for a documentry.
but it's taking a damn long time.
only 1 user.
kazaa is losing its power.
fewer and fewer people are using it now.
all because of the stupid laws/government/whatever.
stupid recording companies.
money is never enough.
got 1 million?
2 seems nicer.
3 is always an option.
what's the point of having that much money?
what will they do if they have everything?
kill themselves.

green day sucks.
american idiots.
bullshit band.
american idiot?
bullshit song.
don't want to be an american idiot.
don't want a nation that under the new media.
and can you hear the sound of hysteria?
the subliminal mindfuck america.
makes sense?
fuck no.
"dont want a nation that under the new media"?
then how come they're on mtv?
i know.
although i don't have mtv.
i heard them on the radio.
tv = media?
yes.
radio = media?
yes.
green day = hypocrtitcal bullshit?
yes.
prime example of bullshit songs polluting minds.
kill themselves.

not supporting america though.
today's the two thousand and forth aniversary of september 11.
so what?
many people were killed 3 years ago.
more people were killed because of them.
many more to come.
most afgans didn't do anything wrong.
most iraqis didn't do anything wrong.
most americans didn't do anything wrong.
but they chose the wrong leaders.
so they die.
the world calls them terrorists.
they call themselves god's army.
they fight for what they believe in.
americans fight for oil.
who is wrong?
no one.
except their leaders.
good leaders know right from wrong.
bad leaders think wrong is right.
fuck george w. bush.
fuck osama bin laden.
fuck saddam hussien.
actually it seems the 3 of them would have fun in an orgy.
kill themselves.

i am lame.

study?

deleted yesterday's post because it was largely retarded, lame, stupid and meaningless.

so, still haven't studied much in the past week. actually the total number of hours i studied in the past week sould be less than 10. good job and good luck to me. think i'm gonna try to do some maths now. but i think it is probably going to be unsuccessful since i hardly know anything from last year, due to high amounts of slacking. hopefully this year's topics would be tested more, since i should be able to do most of them. i hope.

shit

great. couldn't think of anything to write, so i asked fat fuck. and his reply was "shit". so then, this entry is dedicated to fat fuck and shit.

shit. definition of 'shit' from en.wikipedia.com - shit is a vernacular word of english that means "feces". It is also used as a verb to refer to the act of defecating, and as an adjective to mean "of or pertaining to feces" or more generally "bad" or "low quality". read more about shit from here .

shit is produced when the food you eat is digested and passed out of your system. eat food, food goes into gullet, rumble rumble, gets into stomach. stomach produces hydrochloric acid to dissolve the food, rumble rumble, food becomes slimy, mushy, yucky substance. rumble rumble, sticky crap goes into small intestine, where food is absorbed by hairy appendages lining intestine. rumble rumble, crap goes into large intestine. at this stage, the crap that was once shark's fin or abalone is begining to resemble the final product, shit. water is absorbed so that the shit wouldn't be too sticky and stick to the walls of your asshole. rumble rumble, shit moves to the rectum, which is just beyond the asshole. stomach ache! shitting time. then, splat, lands in toilet bowl.

when i was younger, i thought that if you kept on eating your own shit, you could still survive without any ill effects other than suffering the pain of having to taste your own shit. FORTUNATELY, i was smart enough not to try this myself. but now, as i've grown older and even more smart, i found out that nuitrients are absorbed into the body and not released in the shit. so, the shit is un-nuitritious and eating shit is as good as not eating anything.

shit was once a vulgarity, and kids caught saying it would be promptly slapped by their parents. however, now the word has gained a more mainstream meaning and usage. currently, it is generally acceptable to the public, and is used mostly as an exclamation or with the meaning 'feces'. for example, "shit! that idiot ate his own shit."

during lower secondary, i had the misfortune of being tricked into visiting shitcity.com. due to fucking explicit contents, i will not link the site. basically, it shows undressed women eating shit. however, the identity of this 'shit' is not proven, and could possibly be chocolate in disguise. then again, i totally have no fucking idea of anything vaguely erotic about seeing women chomping on shit. yuck! guess there will always be some people that find fun in it, which is why there are rapists, pedophiles, people who practice necrophilia (sex with dead) and so on.

so there, my latest post. please comment, so that i would at least know if ANYONE ever reads this blog or not.

scary

today was a busy day. went to peninsula plaza with fat fuck to buy new bearings because mine got fucked. while sitting peacefully in the 190, guess what i saw? i saw the scariest thing i've ever seen in my 15 odd years of existance. i saw... i saw...
2
40+
year old
women
dressed
(almost) exactly
like
each
other
!

AHHH! what in the fucking world?! this isin't primary school anymore, girls. you are probably fucking 45, so please dress your age. so, these 2 wannabe look-alikes wore...
pink tank top/singlet with many holes. sort of singlet you would find on a small boy.
colourful sarong-like skirt, mainly orange.
some weird handbag of the same design, but of different colours.
shoulder-length curly hair, 1 blonde and 1 red. took too long to touch up, so the roots were black.
pink watches of different brands.
silver bracelets.
thick and yucky make-up. BAD. VERY BAD.

so what the fuck were they up to? trying to be a pair of cute twins? too bad they were 45 and ugly. they just don't seem to know that they are not 20 and hot anymore, though i doubt that they were any better back then. so there they were, sitting in front of me, disturbing my peace with their incessant hokkien yakking. since i don't speak hokkien, i have no idea what they were taling about. all i saw was their extremely sick dress sense and them pointing at some mcdonald's coupon and blabbering about it.

got the bearings for $25, which i think is pretty damn cheap, considering my old (and lousy) ones costed $35. then got home and waited for my bro to get back with the newly-modified xbox. but then, the shop did not sell any games. so i decided to go try my luck at toa payoh central with fat fuck, but no luck too. fuck. no one seems to have any idea where to get xbox games except from johor. fuck.

bahaha

stolen from www.kontraband.com. very long, but extremely funny.
Omg V fny...LOL...chk it out :) or u r teh ghey!
warning! explicit content.

Fat IRC chick wants it...

sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't ******* laugh at me!
bloodninja: This **** is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a ******* break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are ******* sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: **** you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A ******* COP YOU ********!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go **** yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: **** YOU!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a ******* *******!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: Nobloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your **** bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *******.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A ******* PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot caramel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a ******* candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: **** YOU *******!!
bloodninja: The cellulite from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

sick? i thougt it was funny as hell.


and i can't make myself study. this is bad. can't seem to concentrate. things gonna get worse tomorrow when the xbox gets back.

sex

read the papers today. in the lifestyle section of the straits times, there was an article about mister kick-the-ball-over-the-bar, aka david beckham, and his wife. it discussed their level of intelligence in wanting another child, in an attempt to save their floundering marraige.

suprisingly, the people they interviewed actually said that having another child saved their own marraige from total and complete destruction. so then, it seems that mrs beckham had made the right choice in wanting another child.

but the great one, aka me, aka the owner of gayfag.blogspot.com, thinks that these people are extremely stupid. all of the cases looked at in the article involved infidelity on either one or both sides of the marraige. therefore, i conclude that it all boils down to one thing : SEX.

in the beckhams' case, david was fucking around in spain while victoria was in england. david was pissed off that he didn't manage to get any sex. so here comes dearest rebecca loos, the best subsitute he can get for his hand. i must say, however, i do question his taste, for she is one fucking ugly bitch. well, i suppose he was really desperate and she was really horny, so they made a good match.

so then, their agreement was formed. i'll fuck you, and you don't tell anyone. but being the horny slut that she is, rebecca just had to tell the world how much of a slut she was, perhaps in the hope of attracting a hornier guy than david. so the agreement was broken, and victoria's heart was broken. how sad. and then, ouch! double blow. dearest sarah decided to cash in on the opportunity and too reveal to the world about david's sexual exploits.

this happened some time ago so i can't really remember, but she said something like "beckham is idolised by the world, and i felt that it was my duty to let them know the truth." what the fuck. actually it's more like "beckham is idolised by the world, so the tabloids would pay good money to know about his sexual activities."

since it's all about the sex, victoria decided to be part of it, which i believe that she think would make david stay faithful as long as he can get his daily dose of it from her. but of course, she couldn't possibly tell that to the reporters right? so she decided to say that they are trying for a third child. so obviously, a fertile and horny man plus a fertile and willing woman equals baby!

but then again, it is an extremely stupid excuse to have a child in order to save a marraige. what if he can't get his much needed sex due to her pregnancy? then off he goes, to search for a new and improved rebecca loos, hopefully one which is horny and who knows how to shut her trap too. and then, should the marraige still fail, there would be one more child to have a broken home. how sweet of them.

so let's say it is REALLY about the child. the child is going to save the marraige. so then, they already have 2 kids. why can't he think about them when he's fucking around instead of having a new one to think about? one of the women interviewed said that her husband thought that the baby was very cute and couldn't bear to leave it or some shit like that. how interesting. why not go and adopt a puppy instead? puppies are cute, aren't they? then he would feel that the puppy is too cute to leave behind to go fucking around.

so then, i conclude my longest post in recent memory. ladies and gentlemen, it's ALL ABOUT THE SEX. no need for anymore arguments. just shut each other up with a good and hearty fuck. after that, you would probably be too tired to argue anyway. no need for excuses, no point in saying "we are trying for our third child", just say "i am trying to keep him home with lots and lots of sex."

zzz

fuck. was forced into paying the $3 for the fucking teacher's day presents. so now i'm officially a fucking hypocrite. actually i was really forced into paying, no way to escape. bah. so can i not consider myself a hypocrite? YES.

so really. what is the problem with the people in our school? specifically, the hypocrites, dearest fucking hypocritical assholes.

example of a fuckhead that piss the fuck out of me.

name: js

guilty of: hypocricy

act: shouts at people for doing small things that create 'noise', such as dropping a fucking metal bar that fell out of his table or giggling while trying to sweep away an insect with a broom. i believe that such acts are basically tolerable because the noise caused lasts only a few seconds, and are not really done intentionally.

he: laughs loudly and stupidly during lessons or SILENT study. makes me feel like going forward and kicking his stupid ass. largest joke is shouting at someone to shut up, then proceeding to laugh at some retarded joke minutes later. stupid ass actually fucking laughs at 'jokes' like "what did the typhoon say to the coconut tree? watch out, i'm going to blow your nuts away." HAHA, not funny. not funny AT ALL.
isin't cool, but believes that he is. somehow, some people believe that he is too. however, i think that he can go be a fucking hawker without much difficulty with the way he speaks. everything about him is stupid. glad to have found out that i'm not the only one who hates him.

actually i hate the whole group of retards sitting in the corner, but js is simply the shit. worst of the lot. these people enjoy wasting class time by talking bullshit with the teachers, especially during english and physics. and the rest of the class don't even give a fuck about what they are talking about. perhaps, if their conversation involves everyone, it wouldn't be that bad, but it doesn't. stupid wasting of time causes innocent people like me to be scolded for wasting time instead (by dearest mr kefli).
classic example of retardation: teacher/one of the group tells a joke, which is loud enough for the class to hear (eg. coconut joke). group roars/squeals/whatever with laughter. rest of class stoning, trying to figure out what in the fucking world is so funny about the joke. thus, time is wasted, lessons disrupted, etc.

types of people that i hate:
hypocrites
posers
retards, especially those seated in the OTHER corner of the class

boo. hope one of them reads this and tells the rest of the group to read it. then hopefully they would finally see the light at the end of the dark tunnel they are travelling in and improve on their stupid ways.


english was ok, except for the essay. all the topics were fucked. took the seemingly easiest one, about a visit to a popularlocal eating outlet or something. can't really remember.

no

english prelims is tomorrow
but that doesn't matter
because you can't really prepare for english

can't think of anything good to write
so i'll leave it as it is
not force any ideas out
in case i use up the little remaining ones that i have
and have nothing left for tomorrow
then i'll have to stone for the duration of the essay
or write meaningless shit
like i'm doing now
or like what i did for the mid-year exams
fortunately i still managed to score a 65
coz im c00l

the technician supposedly changed the hard drive
and graphics card
but the computer is behaving just like before
slow and retarded
tried to recover my song collection from kazaa
but forgot most of them
or thought they were crap
but it's still nice to be back with a computer
much better than with the tiny laptop

typing like this is fun
everyone should try it
and irritate the fuck out of everyone
the secret is to start a new line
at every point when a punctuation should be
just like this

bahaha

for the first time since i started this blog, i am blogging with my computer again. got it back from the post office. it seems that you can send your computers to the post office and they will forward it to the computer manufacturers for repair. and my bro took the x-box for modification, costs $100, split 50-50 between us.

it's a happy day. gotta go study, still haven't started. damn.