the time now is 8:19am. i woke up at 7:30 this morning in this wonderful rainy weather after 4 hours of sleep to go to my 8:30 class.
as i lay in bed, i seriously considered continuing my sleep since i really know shit for this class and attending this revision lecture probably wasn't gonna help at all.
i messaged my friend to see if he was going to class. no reply. he lives far away so if he didn't reply at that time it meant he was probably asleep and not going.
what's worse was that it was raining and i had to take the bus there and back. the bus ride is around 45 minutes while the longest i've taken to ride there is 15 minutes. it was really so much easier to just close my eyes.
but through some willpower i never knew i still possessed, i somehow managed to force myself out of bed, take a hot shower, freeze my ass off after coming out, iron my clothes, comb my hair, i was ready to go.
oh where's my classroom? i decided to take one final look at my timetable and check my class, although i could have done it when i reached school since it was already in my bag.
2010, the night before i started my 21-day job. i had just finished my bridging exams that evening and i had just one night before i started work. 3 guys meeting up, what else is there to do? i planned to have an early night though, since i had to get to work in the early afternoon hours.
when we got there, we ended up with 3 guys and a girl. haven't had time for dinner so i was eating their free potato chips all night. drank some beers and my friend was having some girlfriend issues (seriously the only thing that could trouble a guy), but he said he would only talk about it if he was drunk. sigh, at that point i knew it was gonna be a long night.
the place closes at 2am and by then everything was over and done with, drunk as hell and some puke on the floor (not mine). i was ready to go home and sleep but during the cab ride some genius said karaoke and suddenly we were transported there. then before anything happened some genius said we should go to zouk instead, and i was like screw you guys, i'm going home! but with a more drunken slur.
normally i would shower no matter how drunk i am (sometimes ended up sleeping in the shower) but on that night i told myself i needed to sleep IMMEDIATELY because it was already late as shit and i knew i was gonna die the next day. so i set my alarm and flopped into bed.
i woke up the next morning and for a while i lay in bed trying to remember how i got this splitting headache. funny, i think i had a dream that i puked last night. i rolled over and looked around, nothing. checked the floor, nothing. phew, it was just a dream.
but it seemed so real! i turned around and checked between my bed and wall... holy shit. it looked like a fountain of mash potatoes from all the chips i ate the night before. i was already getting late for work, so sorry maid, you've gotta handle that for me. i was amazed that i still had that tiny bit of sense left in me to turn over and puke into that little gap.
stumbled into the toilet and wondered how was i gonna last the day. forced myself to puke whatever was left, drank some water and it wouldn't stay down, just puking out clear water, but there was still something inside that needed to come out. after a few cycles of drinking and immediately throwing up, i made one huge heave and finally it came out. it was black.
went to work and we were supposed to be standing all day. the problem was whenever i stood still, the world would sway and i'll have to hold on to something. in the end i spent the day with one of the worst hangovers ever, walking and fidgeting about, feeling as though i was gonna die any second and trying my best not to show it.
1. gotye - somebody i used to know well actually i've never ever listened to this song before, but i inadvertently came to know of its existence through the wonders of facebook. everyone and their mothers are posting it up but i refuse to listen to it because of the band name. it sounds like someone making vomit noises and it annoys me whenever i see it.
2. jessie j - pricetag some time last year, one of my friends posted some gifs of this music video up on his blog. prior to that i've never known of its existence as well. what he posted were only images and captions of lyrics so it appeared fine at that time. then one day my maid turned on the radio in the living room, like she does every morning, and i happened to recognise the lyrics of this song.
oh cool, it's that pricetag song, i thought. that was the last time i've ever had anything good to say about it. GOD DAMN IT WAS AWFUL. and the worst part was, after i knew what it sounded like, i started hearing it everyfuckingwhere. and the worst worst worst of all is when i would be asleep in the morning and i be awoken by this god awful song playing when it comes up on the radio. fuck you dqb.
3. i got so agitated writing #2 that i can't think of anything else, not that i particularly want to remind myself of annoying songs that i've forgotten anyway. probably every song by m83 though. i saw them at laneway and for some reason i cannot comprehend, the crowd was going wild over them. i tried my best to give them a chance but... i wasn't the least bit impressed.
this year's preparations for my exams have been terrible. i just haven't been able to get into it. my mind is off, and in between the shittiness of my modules, the laziness and the million other things that are more interesting, almost nothing's been done.
this time last year i was in full caveman mode, and the months seemed to last forever as i watched the days go by outside my window. i don't understand how it felt so long and arduous while this year's been so chill that suddenly hey, it's april next week and i've still got everything to do.
i was thinking about it and i realised that the course i'm taking is banking & finance, yet all the modules i hate the most and have the least amount of interest in are the finance ones. guess it's not really my cup of tea, but sometimes i wonder if things would be different elsewhere.
i know it's easy to blame everything except myself, but this one story i gotta share. last year i met up with one of my friends who was studying in australia and found out he was taking the same course as me. i asked him how he felt about it and he said in the beginning he wasn't really into it, until he took this course called 'corporate finance' and it really piqued his interest and opened his eyes to the course.
corporate finance? i took that exact same module too! except the general consensus amongst everyone i know is that it is terribly boring, difficult, and filled with calculations that no one really understands. oh, and it was the only module that i failed last year.
some time back i was having dinner and watching a chinese drama serial about paramedics. there was this girl who was a paramedic and came from a fucked up family while her boyfriend was a doctor from a rich family.
so one day her gambling addict father asked her for $10,000 because he was being blackmailed with some sex photos but she didn't have any money and he persuaded her to ask her doctor boyfriend.
after a lot of thought she finally went to ask him, but he didn't want to give her father the money because the father was quite a fucked up gambler and besides, giving money to the blackmailers would just make them ask for more.
he wanted her to go to the police but she refused because she didn't want people to know about her father's sex thing with other women. so basically the doctor was being totally reasonable and sensible while the girl was starting to spazz out a little.
finally they started arguing and she said something like "i know the reason you don't want to help me is because you look down on my family!" and then suddenly the guy was all "omg i'm so sorry that's not what i meant," like it was all totally his fault.
at this point i started laughing at the absurdity of her excellent reversal, it was so powerful that the poor guy didn't even know what hit him, turning him into the bad guy in an instant.
but then i thought about it for a second and hmmm, i realised it wasn't quite as absurd as it seemed. perhaps not done in such an outrageous way, but girls are definitely good at turning the tables and shifting blame. and the worst thing is you'll likely end up like the guy, clueless and totally believing that it's your fault.
i generally consider myself to be able to hold my alcohol quite well and for the most part also able to keep myself out of trouble when i'm drunk, although i'm definitely not one with any sort of legendary drinking prowess. however there have been times where things go wrong...
the first time i ever 'passed out,' although till this day i believe that i simply went to sleep and didn't wake up, was new year's eve 2009. we were at a sentosa chalet celebrating my friend's birthday with a whole big group of his friends. my group was sitting at a table drinking, and one of the last things i remembered was that i had to go stop my guy friend from trying to kiss a butch.
when i stood up, the world started spinning and i knew i was in deep shit. still i managed to stop him (does that count as a cock block?), then i remembered going up to the room to chill. i lay on the bed and next thing i knew there was a lot of strange noises and the bed was shaking.
i opened my eyes and the first thing i felt was the mother of all hangovers. i spent a little while figuring out where i was. it was morning, and there were so many people lying on the bed. some of them were talking and i'm pretty sure one guy was jumping on it.
my friend later told me that while i was sleeping/passed out, some guy jumped on me and it made me burp/puke on the floor. one of the cute girls cleaned up the mess. after i found out, i wanted to thank her with a big kiss but alas, she was there with her boyfriend.
he then told me of all his adventures that i missed out on, mostly about him trying to hit on the butch and her friends, and failing miserably. after hearing that, i somehow felt glad that i was soundly asleep.
nowadays the rain falls so silently in the night that i don't even know it happened. sometimes i feel an odd buzz or a cold draft and i look out the window but everything seems fine. if it ain't raining then what was that i felt?
a while ago i looked out the window and i couldn't decide if it had rained. i spent a good minute staring at the dark roads and rooftops. did it look wet? i stuck my arm out the window, nothing.
now it's definitely raining though, lovely lovely rain. i just don't like it when it comes by so silently that i don't even realise it's there. i need to know before i can enjoy it.
i think it was about an hour ago when i felt that i should probably start today's studying. but because i'm always the master of procrastination, i decided to listen to that taylor swift song one more time.
so i went to the youtube video and played it while surfing the web for a wee bit. i'll stop when the song ends.
however i made the mistake of going to the video on my youtube favourites page, and after taylor swift it automatically went to the next song. HOW COULD I RESIST?
there are about 40 videos there so... god save me.
this afternoon i was studying and got bored again as usual. a few days ago some stuff i bought online arrived with some bubblewrap in the packaging so i started to pop the bubbles.
pop pop pop, i wondered why these bubbles made of such thin plastic could pop so loudly. i put it closer to my ear. POP! wow that was loud. my ear was buzzing. i put it to my other ear, POP!
i couldn't resist. i put it as far into my ear as i could. BANG! OMG THAT HURT! my ear was ringing and in pain.
fuck me, i swear all this studying is turning me into an idiot.
i was in the middle of death cab for cutie's show just now when this thought suddenly came to me: gigs always smell of this intoxicating blend of sweat and girls.
some songs just have an otherworldly feel to them, like i can close my eyes and suddenly wonder where the hell am i, almost as though i've left my body.